Sarenna

Brief Outline:

Sarenna is 14. Her periods started when she was 12, and they are frequent, painful and heavy. She sometimes has to miss school, and reflects that in her experience saying that your period cramps are too painful for you to be able to come to school doesn’t feel like it is treated as an acceptable reason. She has been to the doctor, and has tried some painkillers and anti- cramp treatment, but hasn’t found that these have been very helpful as yet. She has an allergy reaction, that she has to take medications for daily, and notices that this tends to get worse with her cycle, though it is helped by anti-allergy medications. She wishes school taught people more about how to use period products, as well as what they look like, because she learned about this by watching videos online with her best friend. She also thinks that it would be good to prepare young people for the reality of what their periods might feel like, and help them know when to ask for help from health professionals.

Sarenna was a bit surprised when her period started, but it ‘wasn’t that bad’ because she had heard about them before at school and from her parents and friends.

Yeah. So, I think when they first started it was in... so I was 12, I think, so I think it was just when I was in Year 7, or something like that. And then, I don’t know, ’cause I was gonna say, I was like I wasn’t expecting it to come, so it was kinda just a surprise, or something like that, but like it wasn’t that bad, ’cause like I knew about them already, like I... like ’cause like my parents had talked to me and then like even at school they’d told us a few things, and stuff like that, and then ’cause of my friends and everything, like, ’cause some of them had already started and stuff, like we just ended up talking about it already, so it wasn’t too bad, but yeah,—

So were you...—

—but that’s when it started.

—were you at home or at school when it started, can you remember?

I think I was at home, but it was like in the morning right before I went to school, so it was just like... it was a bit... yeah.

Sarenna’s bleeding can range between light and heavy with clots in each period. This can make it hard to explain what her flow is like.

What about managing the kinda bleeding itself?

Some... Like ’cause my period’s like... ’cause they... I get them every three weeks, or something like that, so it’s... it’s... Like, and then sometimes they’ll be really random, ’cause sometimes they’ll be like really heavy, or... or like sometimes they’ll be light, and then sometimes they’ll... or sometimes they’ll be like something in between, but then I’ll get loads of like blood clots, and stuff like that, which isn’t great, but then... So just, it’s a bit up and down, kind of, but...

Yeah. And... and this is... so one thing I’m really interested in is... ’cause it’s the sort of question that we ask as doctors, isn’t it, is: “Are your periods heavy?” How do you find answering... would you know how to answer that question?

Well, no, not really, ’cause I guess it kinda changes, like there’s not really one answer, ’cause... and with mine like some... sometimes they’ll be like really heavy and sometimes they’ll be a bit less, so it’s just a difficult question to answer, so...

Sarenna says that because you are told cramps are normal, that knowing when to see a doctor is hard and no-one really explains this to young people. She thinks teaching people about the range of experience and when to ask for advice would be good.

Yeah, I mean I think cramps... like a lot of my friends... ’cause a lot of my friends do have it, like and they’re not normal, but I think a lot of people do get them, but I don’t think it’s... and I think it’s not really explained like how... how bad they’re meant to be, ’cause you don’t know when it’s the right time to go to the doctor, or something like that, ’cause there’s nothing really saying that how much they’re gonna kind of hurt, kind of, like ’cause then you don’t know if you’re just... like if it’s just you and then maybe it’s just like normal, and something like that, or if it’s something you do need to go to the doctor for, so it’s just like...

Yeah, and I think that’s a... that’s really... that really makes a lot of sense to me. Is it something that people have said to you about period pain?

Mm, like my friends and stuff, they haven’t been to the doctor’s, and stuff, but I think she says... ’cause like my best friend like, ’cause she gets it bad, she was like... she was saying that ’cause she’s got an older sister, so she just goes... she talks to her about most of it, and stuff like that, but I think both of them just kind of... they just... it’s not too bad, like they just take a day off when they need to, and stuff like that, so... but I don’t think they like need to go doctor’s and stuff, so...

And at school when you were learning about periods, was... you... I think you said this earlier, that the pain, or what to do about it, wasn’t something that was particularly talked about, from your memory?

No, it wasn’t... like when they talk about it, like even just when everyone talks about it, like when you’re learning about it, and stuff like that, it’s not... like the teachers don’t... don’t go into detail more of what’s... you’re gonna get with it, like they’ll say you might get cramps, or something like that, but they won’t explain like obviously what it might be like, and what it might feel like, and stuff like that, it’s more just like...

OK.  We’re nearly, nearly done, I promise. Are you...  Are there things that you wish you’d been taught, or that you kinda would like to have learned about?

Yeah. I think it’s more just like obviously knowing... like so first off would be like... like ’cause a lot of the teachers did say like, oh, they’re meant to come like every four weeks, and stuff, so how long they’re meant to be, and stuff, and obviously ’cause mine come every three weeks, and stuff like that, I would have been... ’cause I didn’t know if that was normal, or something like that, but I think ’cause it’s... and then because, obviously before, because it hadn’t settled down and stuff, but now it kind of has, so it would have been maybe more the teach... like someone talking more about that. And then... or more... and also like more like what you’re gonna get with it, kind of, so like more ex... like explaining about like cramps, and stuff like that, and then like knowing how bad they’re meant to be, and then you can... and then ’cause then you can make your own idea of like: ‘do I... should I go to the doctor’s for it or not?’ but...

Sarenna heard about endometriosis from her Mum, and then looked that up on the internet. If her Mum hadn’t mentioned it, she would not have known about it, or looked for more information.

If you wanted to find more information... I don’t... have you ever Googled periods, or... or looked for more information or... or tried to find out more on social media,—

Kind of.

—or anything like that? Yeah.

I mean, like, ’cause my Mum was talking about like obviously when I went to the doctor’s, and stuff like that, and then like there was about endometriosis, and stuff, I... I ended up searching that up, and stuff like that, but there’s... there’s not loads, and they’re like... there’s not loads of advice on like how to kind of deal with it, kind of, it’s just more like what the symptoms are, but there’s not loads saying on like what to do, or like what you could do to try and help, it’s more just saying what it’ll feel like, but... yeah.

That was when you looked up endometriosis?

Yeah.

Yeah. And can you remember where you kinda looked, or what sort of, like, where do you like to get information?

And I think I just searched it up on like Google, or something like that, and then I think I went on like... one of them I checked was the actual NHS website, and stuff, but then they don’t... It doesn’t really say much on there. And it just... like even for like just normal period pain, and stuff, and it just mainly says what like... the kind of symptoms, or something, you’ll get on it, but it doesn’t really say much about it, so...

Yeah. How... so yeah, how... did... did that... I mean, I think I’m really, really interested in what you say, so did you feel like you knew what to do? I think you said you didn’t really know what to do after you’d looked that up?

Yeah, I mean, ’cause like there’s not... like I didn’t really know what to do ’cause like I didn’t really know what like why it was hurting that much, ’cause like a lot of my friends like ’cause obviously they get cramps, and stuff, but it wasn’t hurting that much that they had to take time off school, and stuff like that, so then it was more just like there’s... there wasn’t loads on that. Like even... ’cause I didn’t know about endometriosis until my Mum told me, so I wouldn’t have been able to find that out just like... you know, just by myself, so...

Sarenna has tried to get pain relief from the school nurse, who was not able to give it. She was advised to carry her own supply, which she now does.

OK. Have you ever had any time at school where you’ve kind of had the pain at school and tried to get help when you’re in lessons, or in school?

Yeah. I mean I’ve had... so I’ve been a few times to like the school nurse, and stuff like that, but then she was just saying like there’s not... she... she’s not great and sometimes she’ll be like  “oh though, I can’t really do anything about it”, and then she’ll just be like “go back to class”, or something, and then she’ll say like “wait another 15 minutes”, or something like that, and then she’ll just... she’ll just say like: “Oh, drink water,” or something like that, and then even last time like... ’cause then I went... ’cause I knew paracetamol might help or something, so I went to her and asked for some, and she was like: “I can’t give you any,” so... and you have to carry it on you yourself, and stuff like that, so...

OK. So, do you do that? ’cause that’s something I’ve been hearing quite a lot of different stories about, about whether people are allowed to have painkillers with them, or not, or whether they can get painkillers at school?

Yeah. I mean I think we’re allowed... So, my head of year, he actually told me to carry some, ’cause it was during the PE lesson that I had it, so I went to the school nurse then, and when I came back and I told him that she... the school nurse didn’t give me any, he was like: “Oh, she should have been able to give you some because, like, it’s paracetamol and obviously you need it for a reason.” Then he was like... he was the one who told me, “just start carrying it around with you then, and then just take it if you need it,” so...

OK. So, the pain is quite tricky to manage at school, and it...—

Yeah.

—and is that ’cause of how school responds when you say that that’s why you can’t...?

Because like especially my school ’cause they’re really like... they really like go on about the attendance, and stuff like that, so like they’ll... so like they wouldn’t count cramps as something to stay home as... from school from, so... and they would say, “Oh, just come in anyway.” So, it’s more just like, you know, being a bit more understanding about that kinda stuff, but...    

So how... how do you kinda manage that if you have asked to go, and you’ve asked a teacher, and they say...?

You know, so some... some of our friends just like... ’cause I’ve not done this yet, but ’cause... and one of my friends... so the teacher said no to them, and then they were just... they just asked to go to the toilet, and then they just went down to medical instead, and then like otherwise we’ll just end up waiting until like break or lunch, or something like that, and then go.

Sarenna and her friend wanted to learn how to use tampons before going on a holiday. Their Mums found them some instruction videos on You-Tube about how to put a tampon in which they watched together.

And did they teach you how to use them at all?

No, they didn’t teach that. Like I think to... and this is a bit weird, but like basically me and, like, my other friend, so she’s like the same age as me, I think, yeah, she’s like four months older, or something, and then I think we were going on holiday, or something like that, and then we were like... ’cause I... we were both like gonna be on our period, or something, so I was like: ‘why don’t you try using like a tampon, or something, instead?’ ’cause you don’t wanna be swimming, like obviously like that, and then we were both like: ‘we don’t even know how to put... like use one,’ or something, so we had to search it up on YouTube, or something, how to put it in; but that was really weird. But yeah, we didn’t know how to do that, and stuff, so...

So, you managed to find... so... and you found a YouTube video about how to put a tampon in?

Yeah, our Mums found it for us, and we just ended up watching it, but...

Brilliant. So, you did... but you did that with your Mum?

Yeah.

And how did you... and then... and then were you able to kinda get them to work, was that OK?

So, it took... like it took a... it took a few times, but we ended up managing to do it, but... yeah.

Sarenna doesn’t mind talking about periods and period pain in front of her male friends and, in her experience, they don’t make it feel awkward.

Do you have any kinda thoughts on talking about periods or... or whether they’re... so like are there people you wanna talk about it with, or people you might not?

I mean I don’t really mind talking about them. Like a lot of... with my friends and stuff, like to be honest with mostly girls, like everyone’s pretty like kind of open about it. Like you’re not... like you wouldn’t talk to it about... with someone that you don’t really know, and stuff like that, but with... with our friends like we... we all do talk about it, and stuff like that. And then like ’cause like even sometimes like we’ll ask each other for like a pad, or something like that, so then we all like just... ’cause like we all... even some of them who haven’t even started yet, like they all know what... they all know what happens, and everything, so like everyone just talks about it. And then, even sometimes, like because obviously some... we’re all friends with some of the boys, and stuff like that as well, like it’s not... we don’t feel like weird talking about it in front of them, and stuff like that, because a lot of the time it’s just like... they... they don’t really... like they’re not gonna say much... they’re... they’re not gonna be able to do much, but they’ll just be like: “Oh, right, yeah, OK,” but they don’t say anything thingy about it, so like it’s all right.

OK, so they... they... they kinda just take it?

Yeah.

OK, so you’re happy to talk about it with your friends and like including boys and girls and just... you know?

Yeah.

But it sounds like in quite a practical way and with the people that you know well?

Yeah. I wouldn’t talk about it with someone like I don’t know. Like with my close friends and stuff, like we’ll just talk about it. Like we’ll... we’ll be whinging to each other, or something like: “Oh, my cramps really hurt,” or something like that, and we’ll just end up talking about like random stuff, but then obviously if we’re with other people, like it would just... it’s just like: “Oh, my stomach’s hurting,” or something like... that you just change it, but... yeah.

Sarenna says that, in her experience, male teachers have been supportive and understanding when she has talked to them about periods and period pain.

Yeah. No, I think... I don’t think you really talk to them too much about it, like it’s more just... Like if obviously... like more if it’s like a fe... like a girl, or something, like a female or something like that, sometimes if you’re like... if your teacher’s like there, or something, and then that you don’t feel... or like even if you have to ask to go to school nurse, and stuff, and you just say like: “Oh, I’ve got cramps,” or something like that, and even like... even the male teachers in the school actually are... like they’re pretty understanding. Like the male teachers seem to be more understanding than the female ones though to be honest, because like when you go, and stuff, and like when you say, “Oh, can I go to the school nurse,” or something, “so I can get like a note?” or something like that, they’ll... a lot of the male teachers will let you go, but I don’t know if that’s more because they don’t like know, ’cause they... they don’t... and they’re not gonna say no because obviously they don’t know what it’s like, so then... but I think a lot of the female teachers do say no, but then, I don’t... they don’t really know how much it hurts either, so it just depends.

Sarenna has been prescribed buscopan for period cramps, after her doctor and family decided together that she was a bit young for the pill (hormonal contraception). She hasn’t found it hugely helpful.

So, then he gave me some... I’m trying... I can’t remember what it was called, but he gave me something that was supposed to like put... like stop the ble... not stop the bleeding, but like at least make it a little bit like lighter, so it wasn’t as heavy, and then he gave me something that was supposed to help with the... I think that was like Buscopan, or something like that, to help with the cramps. But then he was saying like obviously if you wanted to kind of stop it: “You... you might be able to go on birth control,” or something like that, but he said... like the doctor was saying that the... at the point... at this minute, there’s no... “don’t start taking birth control now ’cause you don’t know... like there’s so many side effects of it, that you might... like try this first, and then see.”

OK. OK, and... and have you tried those things that they gave you?

Yeah. So, I mean I don’t know if they... I can’t tell if they actually work or not though because like obviously when I used to get them and I’d take like paracetamol and ibuprofen, and stuff, but like I don’t think it really... I don’t know if it’s just me, but I don’t think it... I can’t really tell the difference, like it doesn’t really seem to help, so...

No. OK, and what... what was your kinda hope when you went to the doctor? Did you have any...?

It was more just to see like if there’s anything that could help the cramps not maybe hurt as much, because like they were bad at that point. And then... but then, even then like... so even with like this... like the Buscopan and the stuff they gave me, it didn’t really seem to help though, so...

OK. And did you have a plan about what to do if it didn’t help?

I think he said like if it didn’t help, then he was like “then you might have to take birth control.” But then, like, even my Mum was saying, “maybe just leave that bit for...” ’cause like she was like “’cause you’re on 14 at the minute,” and she had to take it when she was younger, and stuff. ’cause she... ’cause she had painful ones too, and she was like: “I wouldn’t take it just yet because there’s loads of like side effects and stuff like that that you can get from it.”

Sarenna thinks it is frustrating if doctors suggest waiting a “few more months” to see if period pains improve, without understanding she had already a long time before deciding to make an appointment.

’cause like a lot of... like a lot of people, even the doctors and stuff, they’ll be like: “Oh, wait, why don’t you wait a few months,” or something like that, “and then come back?” and stuff like that. But then a lot of the time, like, you would have already waited... kind of you’d... ’cause you’d think in my head: ‘oh, I’m gonna go to the doctor’s, or I’m gonna go to the nurse,’ or something like that, and you’re like: ‘I can wait, let me give it 15 minutes to give... to see if it goes away.’ Or if... and if you’re going to the doctor’s, ‘let me give it like a few more... more months,’ or something like that, obviously, ’cause you’re seeing, and then, that it just... And then, obviously, if it didn’t get better, you’d normally go, but then they’d tell you to wait again, so it’s like that doesn’t really work.

And I think that’s... that’s a really, really, really good observation, that actually you’ve thought really carefully before you’ve gone in the first place, so you’ve...—

Yeah.

—and you’d already done that bit. Yeah.

Yeah, ’cause a lot of them will just say wait, but you’ve done it already.

You’ve already done that in deciding to go.

Yeah.

And I think you said that like that whole process of how you decide: ‘is this something I go to the doctor with’...?

Yeah, I mean ’cause like it’s just hard to know how... ’cause no one talks about how... like how much is mental health, or something like that, ’cause obviously there probably isn’t a normal, but there probably is something to... there should be some way kind of judging: ‘do I need to go to the doctor’s?’ or something like that, but it’s just... and it’s just hard to know when is the right time to go, ’cause like you might wait too long, or something, and then you might be worse than you think, but it’s just like it’s hard to know.