Young people's experiences of periods and period pain
Advice for parents and families
The young people we spoke to told us about how they appreciated support from their parents and families. This could be practical and emotional support, as well as information and advice.
Amalia was glad her family had talked to her about periods before she started having them and advised other parents to “teach your children young about periods ’cause it is something that they need to be prepared for so they’re not like scared when they turn 11 and they just start bleeding”.
April’s mum wanted her daughter to learn about periods from her before hearing about them elsewhere, but wasn’t sure where to find reliable resources (read by an actor).
April’s mum wanted her daughter to learn about periods from her before hearing about them elsewhere, but wasn’t sure where to find reliable resources (read by an actor).
Mum: And, you know, it was just kind of... ’cause there’s... there is a lot out there, but you... it... it’s trying to sift through it all to find the most reliable and useful. Like and I suppose not all parents would do that either. You know, there’s... And that you... you think you feel... you know, for the children that probably don’t have that, those discussions at home, that they’re either probably more reliant on school, so it’s... you know, you think of it... you kind of want... or if the children themselves look, you know if they hear their friends talking about periods, ’cause I mean I’m sure, you know, they did before periods started, it would have been, ’cause I know she came home and talked... mentioned to me about a couple of girls that had started their periods earlier, so they must have talked about it, because they knew about it, but then you think, you know, if those girls hadn’t had anybody maybe at home to talk about it, you know, where did they get their information from?
Yeah.
Mum: ’cause I think a lot of the school books is only looking at the biology of it all, and I think she’s probably... you know, she’s probably right, the information around what the flow could be like, what pain could be like, how you deal with the anxiety about if you have got a heavy period, the worry about something happening at school or when you’re out, and I don’t think there’s enough information or easily accessible information for children about that.
Preparation for periods included being advised about them, but also having the practical means for managing bleeding and pain ready and available. For example, Mia’s mum had packed period products in her bag for a school trip just in case, which she really appreciated when her period did start when she was away. April and her mum told us how they had “kind of prepared a little bit before, so we’d... you had some pads in your bag just in case for school. And then me, I put some pads in the bathroom so she knew where they were, and how to use them, and how to put them on, you knew that. So those kind of things”.
Eve and her mum didn’t know about period pants, and have been learning about them together (read by an actor).
Eve and her mum didn’t know about period pants, and have been learning about them together (read by an actor).
Eve’s mum: Well, I just what you think, I think we... we didn’t know much about the period pants, do you remember, and we were looking at them and we... and we still...And they’ve been quite good haven’t they. Yeah, you—
Eve: They’ve been really good.
Eve’s mum: Yeah. So, when you first started and it was quite heavy, do you remember?
Eve: Yeah.
Eve’s mum: And it was like... yeah, you... you were really... and we were both quite shocked, and then you were using pads, and that was a bit uncomfortable, but then I... I didn’t know much about period pants, so I’ve been looking at it online and you’ve been trying them out and then you’ve been telling me: “OK, this one was good,” do you... do you remember?
Eve: Uh-huh.
Eve’s mum: And I’ve just gone and bought you one that’s quite... do you remember that lacy one? And you didn’t like it as much ’cause I didn’t see it. But I think it’s been... Do you think that they... you found them... you seem to find them a lot more comfortable, don’t you?
Eve: Yeah.
Eve’s mum: But yeah, we’ve been trying that kinda together ’cause I didn’t know much about it either, yeah.
As well as practical arrangements, emotional support was important. Rosie valued her mum’s calm response when she started her period. Eve felt this was important to balance, as she finds “fussing” can make her feel self-conscious and more anxious. Lola agreed and advised parents to not “make it a big deal”: “I just sent my mum a text going: “Can you pick up some pads,” and then that was it, ’cause if you make it a big deal – your kid’s 14 – they’re gonna be uncomfortable, they’re gonna be awkward, don’t make it a big deal, just throw some stuff at them, grab them some painkillers”.
Haseen explains how as a father he encourages his daughter to talk to him about periods, so that she feels comfortable to ask for help and he can support her.
Haseen explains how as a father he encourages his daughter to talk to him about periods, so that she feels comfortable to ask for help and he can support her.
To me, I think it's extremely important that to make my first, make my daughter feel comfortable and safe to ask me a question. And if she's in pain, then tell me about it. And in my capacity, whatever I can to help her out, I will help her out.
And most importantly, that comfort and safety to talk to me is paramount. And I think it's extremely important. I give her the space for her to feel happy to talk to me without any inhibitions. That's what I would say to any dad.
There was also some advice for parents if their child was struggling with period pain, including supporting them to see a healthcare professional. Some young people thought that being told, or taught, how to arrange doctors’ appointments for themselves would be helpful.
Scarlett’s mum thinks it is really important for parents to advocate for their young people, and help them access support if periods are affecting their daily life.
Scarlett’s mum thinks it is really important for parents to advocate for their young people, and help them access support if periods are affecting their daily life.
Scarlett: Don’t stress about it too much. It won’t... it won’t be the end of the world, at least in my experience.
Mum: Well, that’s because you got help.
Scarlett: Uh-huh.
Mum: But the thing is, I would... and I would suggest that you seek out the end of the earth to get help, don’t stop. And especially for mums, it’s really important to advocate for their... the young girls. And... and then if there’s maybe girls out there who, you know, if their mum isn’t around, it’s having to educate the dads and, you know, if... if it’s starting to affect their daily life, then it’s... that that’s not normal. And I know there were lucky people like me, I didn’t have any... really any big problems, but there are... you have to be aware that there are girls that are gonna experience major problems.
Poppy summed up how much she valued her parents talking with her about periods, saying “please talk to your children about periods. Just in general, just talk to them because it really makes a difference”.
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