Young people's experiences of periods and period pain
Feelings and emotions during periods and period cycles
- Emotional changes during periods and the period cycle
- Linking emotional changes and hormones
- Impacts on and reactions from other people to period emotions
- Feelings about periods, period pain and bleeding
Emotional changes during periods and the period cycle
Dr Neda Taghinejadi explains that many people notice changes in their moods across their period cycle. For some people, these can be really marked and impactful. She encourages any young people who are concerned about this to see a GP.
Dr Neda Taghinejadi explains that many people notice changes in their moods across their period cycle. For some people, these can be really marked and impactful. She encourages any young people who are concerned about this to see a GP.
PMS (Premenstrual Syndrome) and PMDD (Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder), are terms that refer to a, a large spectrum of mood changes that can happen in your menstrual cycle.
So many people experience mood changes during the cycle. But for some people these can be really severe and significantly impacts on quality of life and ability to do things in their life. If you think that might be relevant for you, there are lots of different treatment options. So, it's definitely something that's worth discussing with your doctor.
As well as the more physical changes that could happen with periods – like period pain and other physical symptoms like tiredness – some people noticed changes in their mood and emotions. This could include feeling sad, tearful, moody or emotional before or during their bleeding. For some, these emotional changes and feelings were a large part of having and managing periods.
Poppy explains the cycle of emotions and emotional changes that happen with her period.
Poppy explains the cycle of emotions and emotional changes that happen with her period.
In fact, that's quite interesting. Do you get kinda emotional changes with your periods as well?
Oh, yes,100 percent, yeah. And my brother, he…it can be particularly annoying, and he probably doesn’t mean to, but I definitely get a lot more crotchety. I’d say I’m quite an emotional person anyway, so I do... like I cry at quite a lot of things, and I don’t think that’s a bad thing, but yeah, I definitely say when I’m on my period, it does definitely fluctuate, and, it, yeah, sort of going from angry, just really sad, and then sort of like numb, and then over again. Yeah, it seems to be a little bit of a... a cycle, and I think that should be taken into consideration as well. I feel like when you get your period, you know, so many things are changing and like it affects your whole body, not just your... you know, not just your pain, and yeah, I think it’s... and it really does affect everything.
When these emotional changes were predictable in their timing, for example happening before the start of period bleeding, they could be a sign that their period was coming. Chloe explained how she felt “really easily irritated” in the lead-up to her period. Leila’s mum noticed when a period was coming because of their “grumpiness” at family mealtimes.
Emily X experiences “mood swings” during her period. Emily finds the mood changes during her period “absolutely horrendous”, moving between shouting and sobbing. For Willow, the mood swings were “annoying” because “it feels like you can’t control it”. Poppy found that her emotions – including sadness and anger – could come in waves and fluctuate.
Period emotions could make people feel less able to cope with situations or, as Eidra said, more “anxious” and “small things …. can tip me over the edge”. This included in their everyday lives, at school and at work.
Elsa explains how period emotions make it harder for her to do things like school or college work.
Elsa explains how period emotions make it harder for her to do things like school or college work.
Do the... and I mean the emotion, the changes that you get, how do they impact on you?
They’re sort of... they’re... they don’t really impact me day to day, I don’t think, it’s just sort of at the end of the day like I’m tired and like I will just sort of like collapse, and if something sort of mildly bad happens, it’s suddenly it’s a massive deal and I’m gonna cry about it. And, even honestly, really, really little things like if I have an essay to write, I’m really tired and I can’t find any motivation to write it, and it’s just going really badly, you know, been sitting here the whole day. It’s sort of like it piles on top of each other and eventually I’ll cry about it, and it’s like, it really doesn’t matter, but... yeah.
Jade felt really sad before her periods, and like she wanted to withdraw and not talk much to her friends. For Liv, these days could be “a lot harder” and she would sometimes not want to leave her room, go to school, or talk to people.
Willow had a “mental health day” off school because of the emotional impact of periods. She hadn’t been prepared for feeling so sad, but found learning about this from a book helpful (read by an actor).
Willow had a “mental health day” off school because of the emotional impact of periods. She hadn’t been prepared for feeling so sad, but found learning about this from a book helpful (read by an actor).
And does it ever... when you... have you ever had to miss school ’cause of your periods?
No, I’ve never had periods that bad. They’ve made me feel quite sad. So maybe like once they made me have a mental health day, but I think, not really, overall, periods haven’t had... made me miss school, though I wish they did sometimes.
You said that the emotional part of it is really hard?
Yeah.
Can you tell us any... a little bit about that?
Well, I’m not sure. It just feels like you can’t control it, and then you look back on what happened and you feel really bad, and like it’s a bit... like you’re angry and you’re sensitive and you’re sad, like you’re sad one moment and then you’re angry, and then you’re happy, and it’s all random, and it seems really weird. Like I read about it and it says like “children... children or teenagers may experience this”, then there was a picture of someone saying, “I’m so happy,” and the next... and then it said “one minute later”, and that was the face, and then there was a picture of the same person saying, “I’m so grumpy,” and I didn’t really see what that meant and I was like: ‘oh yeah, that happens to me,’ and my emotions change all the time: I’m perfectly normal and then I actually felt it and it was so weird. Yeah, and I just—
And does that impact on you at school at all?
Not really, but I just feel like sad and that... and like sometimes I say, “I don’t wanna be sad,” I’m just there being sad… a very sad child.
And was that anything that anyone told you to expect?
No. No, except for like that one picture in the book.
For Jian, the pre-period emotional changes – feeling “blue” and “mellow” – as well as her period pain were “arguably worse than the actual period itself”. Lily described feeling like there was a “big cloud” above her during her periods, which went away when finished, leaving her feeling like she had “seasonal depression, but with periods”.
For Abi, how “miserable” she feels with her period doesn’t match up with the “mood swings” she was told to expect.
For Abi, how “miserable” she feels with her period doesn’t match up with the “mood swings” she was told to expect.
And the other thing as well I struggled with was really... I was really emotional on my period, I was really... I got really, really unhappy, and it would be about two or three days, I was really miserable, and in that time, you think, ‘this is not my period, this is just... this is just how I feel.’ And I convinced myself I had depression sometimes because I had two days of feeling so unhappy, and then my period would end and I’d feel fine. And I think nobody warn... they said, “Oh, you might get mood swings,” but they didn’t mention how miserable I would feel.
No. And that’s something I’ve been hearing about quite a lot, that... that... that there was a mechanical explanation, but maybe a bit less about what to expect or how it might impact on you.
Yeah, definitely.
Is that something that you would have found helpful, you think, when you then started experiencing those things?
Yeah, I think also if people knew more about it, then, yeah, I’d feel more likely to be able to say, “This is... this is what I’m dealing with.” And I think it would have been helpful.
Many, including Abi, said the emotional impact of periods were not something they were prepared for at first (see section: Learning about periods and period pain).
Linking emotional changes and hormones
Emotional changes were often associated with the changes in hormones throughout the cycle. Elsa describes her emotional changes as feeling “very hormonal”. Bella has learnt to appreciate her cyclical emotional changes, because it helps her make sense of what she is feeling: “If I’m having a really bad week and I feel really upset, I realise that it’s not how I’m feeling, it’s just my hormones and it helps me feel a bit better”.
Emily Z and Eidra explained their symptoms before and during their periods as part of premenstrual syndrome (PMS) or pre-menstrual dysphoric disorder (PMDD). PMS is the name for symptoms including mood swings and mood changes that happen before periods. In a small number of people who have PMDD, these symptoms are more intense, with negative impacts on everyday life. PMDD is usually a diagnosis made by a doctor, often using symptom diaries, and based on set criterion (see Resources for more).
Eidra felt very sad for about four days before her period, which happened regularly “without fail” every month. It was “disappointing” to her that she hadn’t really found anything that helped with this.
Impacts on and reactions from other people to period emotions
Some who experienced emotional changes as part of their period were aware of, and tried to manage, the impact it could have on other people around them. Family members, often mothers and sisters, and friends who recognised this emotional side periods could give support and understanding – but they could also be the people on the receiving end of emotional moments. Anayaa explained how she could get “quite short-tempered, like if someone says even the slightest wrong thing, I’d like shout at them, then I feel really bad after”. Chloe said her approach to managing her menstrual moods was to “stay away from my siblings” so that they don’t argue.
Emily feels bad about the impacts of her menstrual emotions on her mum.
Emily feels bad about the impacts of her menstrual emotions on her mum.
I have really bad mood changes as well. My mood. Oh, my God, my mood changes are absolutely horrendous. I wish... Honestly, I feel... I feel quite bad for my mum because I’ve... I’ve just stopped actually, and last week I was sobbing to my mum, I was shouting at her and I just broke down into floods of tears
Yeah. And that’s... So was that something that you maybe made sense of through the app, or was that something that anybody had ever talked to you about when you were learning about what periods might be like?
Yeah, yeah, we do learn quite a lot about the hormonal side of it. But I think people have learnt to know, like if I’m quite grumpy, people are like: “Oh, are you on your period?” that sort of thing.
Sometimes young people worried about how others would react to their period emotions, for example because they hadn’t experienced this personally. Eve had started her periods before some of her friends and felt they may not know, as they hadn’t had it themselves. She was glad that her best friend understood because she had older sisters and was able to “deal with that”.
Responses to menstrual emotions from other people included jokes and stereotyping about PMS and people being moody. For Mia, this could be a helpful way to manage period emotions within her friendship group. However, some people found it an unhelpful stereotype. It could make them feel like people were belittling their emotions generally and the impact of period emotions.
Scarlett explains how, in her school, she has experienced boys laughing at people who are emotional and blame this on their periods. This makes her want to avoid talking to them.
Scarlett explains how, in her school, she has experienced boys laughing at people who are emotional and blame this on their periods. This makes her want to avoid talking to them.
Do you ever talk to boys about periods? Do you have any kind of thoughts on what you’d think about that?
No, I don’t really talk to many boys about periods. They’re... they’re kind of just, you know, immature about it and they kinda laugh about it. So, I wouldn’t really feel comfortable like discussing it with any boys in my school.
Mm.
But if they were mature about it, I would probably discuss it more.
OK. OK. And have you had that experience of them laughing or being silly, or you’re just more worried that they might?
I’ve had the experi... my friends have also had the experience of them laughing at people, and like saying, you know, whenever a woman... whenever a girl or a woman in my... in my school is being, you know, a bit down or a bit angry, they’re like: “Oh, she must be on her period,” like in a joking way, ha-ha way, so...
Mm. And what do you think about that?
I don’t really enjoy it ’cause a lot of the time it’s just like, ‘why would you just dull down someone’s emotions so much to just like one week of their... of their monthly cycle?’
Several people noticed that when they felt or showed any irritability or grumpiness, it was put down to periods by others around them. This could feel like people were diminishing the emotions or the reasons behind their emotions. Emily described a time when she was not on her period and was having a bad day at school when “everybody was going round saying, “Oh she’s on her period, she’s really grumpy.” It just... it wasn’t very nice”. She added that “people can have bad days without being overly hormonal because of their menstrual cycle”.
Sometimes other people’s responses could be surprising though. Reham remembers how, although she “worried” about the responses from boys in her class to having her period, “one of them even gave me chocolate ’cause they thought I was on, like – I wasn’t – but still: ‘Thank you.’”
Feelings about periods, period pain and bleeding
In addition to emotional changes that were felt during the menstrual cycle, we heard about the emotions and feelings people had about their periods.
Some young people talked about having a constant background worry about when their period bleeding or pain might start or worsen. For Poppy, whose pain meant she needed to miss days school most months, the impact of period pain on her schoolwork caused her a lot of anxiety, which she felt “was unfair, and it was unjust”. Lily told us how anticipating pain meant that she “just dreaded having my period every month”.
Iris explains how her worry about when she would get period pain added to the emotional aspects of periods (read by an actor).
Iris explains how her worry about when she would get period pain added to the emotional aspects of periods (read by an actor).
I think emotionally when I was on my periods I think I always became a little bit more... a little bit more distressed and I think I might have like an occasional like emotional breakdown sometimes. But yeah, but I think... I don’t think the fear particularly impacted how I would go about my day, but I think there was all... there was always like a still small like niggling thought in the back of my mind like: ‘oh, gosh, you’re on your period, you’re... you’re gonna get a bad cramp at some point,’ so... yeah.
Iris used to “genuinely fear” the pain she would experience with her period. She was given mefenamic acid by her GP which helped her pain and made a big difference: “[before the medication, I was] really terrified of my periods, but I think now having mefenamic acid, or knowing that there’s a way that actually does work, I think it’s... it’s made me feel so much less stressed and a lot more comfortable with my periods”.
Bella Z talks about how her period pain makes her feel upset and helpless.
Bella Z talks about how her period pain makes her feel upset and helpless.
Yeah, well, it does, it just makes you feel like... I don’t know, yeah, you don’t really know what to do with it because like you’ve never felt it before, so it’s like you’re just trying to do everything to stop it. Like it does make you feel quite like upset as well ’cause obviously it’s a really bad pain. So, you just end up getting quite upset and like just feeling abs... like so helpless, like that you’re stuck with it and you can’t... like you can’t do anything about it until it goes away. And it... in the moment, obviously it’s gonna pass, like the... the next day it might be gone, but like you’re... you’re just thinking, ‘oh, this is so bad,’ and you just want it to go away.
But... so you feel a little bit hopeless, but like obviously there is ways that you can make them at ease, but it’s just waiting for them to like kick in. And obviously if you’re taking mefenamic acid and you’re... perhaps it’s more like you’ve got to wait for it to kick in before... So I guess you’ve just got to think like, just wait for it to stop because it will eventually, hopefully.
Rosie explains how her experience of periods and periods pain felt “isolating”.
Rosie explains how her experience of periods and periods pain felt “isolating”.
It is sometimes sort of isolating if you’re the only person you know who experiences it, and you haven’t really been taught about it at home either. There can be some sort of like... yeah, you can be a bit fearful, even that you’ll be seen as, you know, different, or other. And you are made to feel like that sometimes. But yeah, it is understandable, obviously, and we’re sort of made to feel like it’s a dirty thing that we shouldn’t talk about. But yeah, I’ve never been sort of that way myself.
Abi felt “a bit pessimistic” about having periods and period pain for the rest of her life and worried it would not get better. Scarlett explained how “I was dreading having to live like this for the rest of my life”, as well as worrying about whether her period pain meant she might not have children, or, if she did, that they would also have period pain.
Many young people also worried about period bleeding and the risk of leaking, especially in public and at school. This worry could make people feel stressed, uncomfortable and fearful about their periods. The support of friends and peers was often an important part of managing periods at school.
Reham explains how she worried about bleeding through and how people would react, even though when this happened to someone in her class, people were nice about it.
Reham explains how she worried about bleeding through and how people would react, even though when this happened to someone in her class, people were nice about it.
And what was... Was there anything that you worried about or felt like it was important to have a way to try and get out?
I was just really worried that I’d bleed through, or like if somebody’d just figure out... like one of the guys, if they ever figured out, what would happen, I was so scared of that.
Yeah. What were you... did you... was there anything you were kinda worried that would happen if they found out, or they... or you had to say it aloud in class?
I feel like the kids were just... in primary school, kids are just horrible. Well, they would... they’re just horrible, so if any of the guys found out, I was scared that... and like some of them would carry it on for... for the rest of their life and have to be called... oh, I don’t know, “bloody [name],” or something. [chuckles]
Yeah. What were you... did you... was there anything you were kinda worried that would happen if they found out, or they... or you had to say it aloud in class?
It’s something I was worried about, but then after I think... after a while, I was just... Just, I remember once in school, right, some girl had gotten hers and she’s having blood through, but some of the guys were actually so nice, like it was so weird some time, ’cause I know the guys in my class, they’re horrible. But then, as soon as like somebody had gotten hers, they would actually leave them alone. And one of them... I remember once, one of them even gave me chocolate ’cause they thought I was on, like – I wasn’t – but still: “Thank you.”
Yeah. Thats a very nice reaction.
It was very confusing. I've never seen them that nice.
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