Abi

Brief Outline:

Abi is 19. She started her periods in secondary school when she was 14. She was initially glad to start, because most of her friends were, but from her second period, the cramps were really painful. This impacted on her in many ways, including being able to play netball for her club, or to concentrate fully in class. She fainted during her second ever period during a play rehearsal which was scary, and she reflected that the teacher calling for help whispered that it was because of period cramps, rather than saying it aloud. She used to dread her periods, and worry about when they would come. She learned over time how long they would last, and this helped manage them. She has tried over the counter and prescribed pain medication (mefenamic acid), which sometimes but not always helped. She tried the mini pill, but this didn’t suit her perfectly. She has migraines, so can’t use the combined pill. She had an implant fitted 2 years ago which has been hugely helpful, reducing her periods and her pain. She wishes people were taught more about the different options available and more about them, and thinks this might help people ask for support.

During one of her first ever periods, Abi fainted on stage during a school play rehearsal.

I was doing a school production of "Beauty and the Beast" or something, and I remember we were rehearsing, going on and doing the end bit where your're doing the end bit and the bows. I had a really bad cramps, but I went on and the stage lighting was really hot, and I was standing there thinking, ‘I just need to get through this, then I’m done,’ and then the director came on and she said, “OK, now we’re gonna go all over it again,” and I remember all of a sudden when she said that, I couldn’t see anything and I couldn’t hear anything. And I didn’t realise at the time, but it was because I was about to faint. And I kind of walked off stage and they had a prop that was... they had a stage prop that was a bed, and I fainted onto the bed that was the prop at the side of the stage, and that was the first time that I realised that, yeah, the cramp, like... and it was really bad and it was causing me to... I think, to faint. But it mostly was ’cause of the heat as well on stage, but the combination of it both that, and that was when I was like: ‘ooh, something’s just really not good.’

No. So how... I mean that sounds... so apart from the very strategically placed bed, it was just possibly the most...—

Yeah, and it was quite dramatic of me…

—possibly the most staged-managed faint I’ve ever come across.

Yeah.

But it, joking aside, that... how did that feel? That must have felt quite...?

Yeah, that was, for me, it was really scary because I was 13 and I... I didn’t have any like ibuprofen or anything I could have taken on me. I didn’t really know any other adults that was in the area. Also, I felt uncomfortable as well telling people that I was on my period, so I felt really, really anxious. And yeah, I remember once it happened, obviously, people came over and I got taken home, but in that moment all I wanted to do was just go home. It was, I just wanted my Mum just to tell me it was gonna be OK. So yeah, it was quite scary ’cause I’d never had anything like that before.

For Abi, how “miserable” she feels with her period doesn’t match up with the “mood swings” she was told to expect.

And the other thing as well I struggled with was really... I was really emotional on my period, I was really... I got really, really unhappy, and it would be about two or three days, I was really miserable, and in that time, you think, ‘this is not my period, this is just... this is just how I feel.’ And I convinced myself I had depression sometimes because I had two days of feeling so unhappy, and then my period would end and I’d feel fine. And I think nobody warn... they said, “Oh, you might get mood swings,” but they didn’t mention how miserable I would feel.

No. And that’s something I’ve been hearing about quite a lot, that... that... that there was a mechanical explanation, but maybe a bit less about what to expect or how it might impact on you.

Yeah, definitely.

Is that something that you would have found helpful, you think, when you then started experiencing those things?

Yeah, I think also if people knew more about it, then, yeah, I’d feel more likely to be able to say, “This is... this is what I’m dealing with.” And I think it would have been helpful.

Abi wishes she had known about options for managing periods and period pain, including medicines like Mefenamic acid or using contraception medicines as treatment for period pain.

And also, ways to manage it as well, what to do, because I just... yeah, I had... I thought, ‘you just got to put up with it, and there’s nobody...’ Like I didn’t even realise that you can get contraception – not just for contraception – but also to stop period pains as well. Because I feel like that would have been nice to know earlier, even if I hadn’t gone on contraception earlier, just to know that there was other options available when I wanted to... to do it.

Yeah. Because you talked really powerfully about feeling almost a bit kinda pessimistic and a bit that you didn’t know... Look I hope...—

Yeah.

— I didn’t mean cope, but that you... dreading them. So, something about knowing that there might be things out there?

Yeah, definitely, and that there is other options available for you. Like, well, I remember my Mum said “mefenamic acid” I thought, ‘I’ve never heard of this in my life, what is it?’ and that helped me for a little bit of time. So even something like that, which I’d never heard of before, would have just been nice to know. I was thinking, ‘why have you been hiding this from me this whole time?’

Yeah. And actually, so if you hadn’t heard about it from your Mum, or you haven’t been able to find out in that way, that’s just not something you would have known to know about.—

No, because I spoke... I remember I spoke to the GP, and she really wanted to put me on the pill before, and I had to ask: “Oh, I’ve researched this, can I have this?” and I had to ask for it, which I got a prescription for that. And that... that was good, that was like a short-term solution for me that it did help for a little bit.  And so, yeah, if my Mum hadn’t told me about it, then I wouldn’t have... I definitely wouldn’t have gotten that prescription.

Abi has learned that for her, knowing when her cramps would come and how long they would probably last, has been a really helpful way of managing her period pain.

Yeah. So, something about preparing you for the fact that it might happen, but also a bit about telling you what to do if it does?

Yeah, definitely. Like it might happen in situations that aren’t ideal for you and you don’t have... you don’t have your normal ways of coping. So yeah, just things... little things that you can do. Even just things to try and take your mind off it, just things that you can do. Like, for me, the timing thing: nobody told me about that, and I just was like, that’s such a big thing for me, and that helped me out so much, was kind of knowing how long I had left.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, yeah, I mean that’s come out really clearly, that... that... that once you kinda can manage, because you knew your body and you could manage the dread of it, that that was actually incredibly helpful.

Yeah. Even like writing down how long they took, and then working out, like, if you have kind of... if they typically last... how long they typically last, and then so you know for future – just things like that. And like what time of day maybe they kind of tend to come on. Like mine would always sort of come in the morning, and then what you can do. I just even found things just like having a snack helpful, just something like that, just to take my mind off it a bit.

Abi has migraines and period pain. She would be offered the option of going back to class or being collected from school, but sometimes neither were feasible. She knew what dosage of paracetamol she needed to take, and would do this on her own.

Were you... and were school OK with you ca... So... and this... but were school OK with you carrying painkillers, or was that more just something that you did ’cause you needed them?

My... my secondary school was really, really strict about what you were allowed to do if you were ill, and it wasn’t just period. Again, I remember when I had a migraine and I get like a visual with it, and they said, “You can either go back to class or go home,” and I said, “But my Mum’s working, she works an hour away and I can’t... I can’t do either,” and yeah, they just... so basically my friend’s Mum had to come pick me up. And yeah, they wouldn’t let me take the paracetamol that I had. So, from then on I just didn’t... I just would go to the bathroom or something to do it because I was just thinking, ‘this is silly,’ like also I knew what was safe for me to take as well.

Yeah.

I knew that... what the dosage was and it was... I was fine. And then when I was at college, I went to... yeah, I went to a sixth form college, and that was really relaxed; they were really, really relaxed there about things like that, they didn’t... they didn’t care. I mean you could just leave college whenever you wanted, you didn’t even have to sign out, or anything.

OK, so then if you needed a bit of space, you didn’t have to tell anyone, you could just kinda leave and come back?—

Yeah, and just go, yeah. Yeah, so that was actually quite a relief going there in terms of that because I did feel... I think also when you feel like you can’t... and you don’t have the freedom to make decisions, or what you wanna do, like you have to stay in class and you have to sit in and get through it, that almost makes it harder in a way as well, like knowing that you don’t have the option to leave.

When Abi fainted during a rehearsal, a teacher whispered that it was because she had period cramp. It was hard to feel they could help, if they “could not even speak about it”.

So did... did you end up having to tell someone?  How did people react once you’d... you’d fainted?

Yeah, there was one lady there that... she was friends with my Mum, so I kind of knew her and she was a nurse as well, so she knew what to do, so she gave me... I think she gave me ibuprofen, or something. And then I remember one of the like senior leadership came over and he did not know what to do because he was so uncomfortable talking about it, and you know trying to say down the radio, like: “Oh, she’s got period cramp,” and he was like trying to whisper it, and then they just took... one of them just drove me home, and I just stayed at home.

OK. So... and so he was stage whispering that you had period cramps?

Yeah, he was trying to say it down the... I’d... down the... the walkie-talkie without actually saying the words.

How... how did that make you feel? I guess you were probably a bit busy...

I just... I just... yeah, and I just remember thinking, ‘no one here know...’ like: ‘no one here knows what to do,’ and I just... I was just: ‘I just wanna go home, and if you can’t even speak about it, you’re obviously not gonna be able to help me that much,’ so...

Abi used an online consultation tool to contact the GP. She found the doctors helpful when she did, but the link was hard to access, and her Mum had to help her. She is glad this is an option, but thinks lots of her friends don’t know about it.

And, I mean, you talked a bit about finding the phone tricky and the e-consult as an option: are there any things that you think could have made it... could have... can make it easier to go and see a doctor or nurse or get advice about period pain options?

I think... well, the e-consult option was a bit hard to navigate, and I didn’t feel like I was doing the right thing for it; my Mum did have to help me quite a lot with that. But also, I think a lot of my friends don’t even know that that is an option, so maybe just making that more clear as well, because I know a lot of people don’t like to speak on the phone. And yeah, it’s good that they offer it. It’s just like hard to actually find the link to do it, that’s the only thing, and they just like made it... But the doctors were all really nice.  I guess also I was a bit confused as to why they were trying to make me go on the coil bit. And... and yeah, she tried to... she really tried to make me go on the pill early on when I... when I... I mean when I... I can’t actually... ’cause it was quite a while ago, but I think maybe if I hadn’t gone in there with an idea of what I wanted, I would have come out feeling a little bit more confused, because they kinda just gave me a lot of options, but didn’t actually, like, talk to me about why I was getting it, which was my cramps.

So... yeah, so that was one of the things I was interested: did anybody... did you ever talk to anybody about the pain or... or what might—?

Yeah, ’cause it was quite explicit that the main reason I wanted it wasn’t for contraception, it was for cramps.  Like, the contraception was just like another thing, and... oh, but I just think they didn’t really have anything to say, they just... they just… I think that’s fine. I don’t know.

 

Abi tried tablets initially, but now has a contraceptive implant. She managed the irregular bleeding by taking both together and is really happy with this option. Knowing what to expect and being involved in decisions was a positive part of her treatment.

Can I ask you a little bit about kinda going... deciding to go to the doctor, and then we’ll think a little bit about... yeah, I think you’ve... and talked a little bit about what happened, so... but the first time you’d thought, ‘I’ve had enough, I want to go and see the GP,’ can you tell me a bit about how you kinda came to that decision or what you thought about?

I think it probably was when I started getting closer to my GCSEs as well and I was thinking, ‘I cannot let this affect something like that,’ and I went to my mum and just... I think maybe one period I was on the floor crying, walking back and forth, and I said, “I can’t... I just can’t do this anymore,” I said, “there’s got to be something else I can do,” because it was... yeah, there was times where it was really hard. And she said she knew about mefenamic acid. And I was probably 15, so I didn’t really wanna go on any birth control, and I wasn’t... I didn’t need it for contraception, so I didn’t really see the point in that. So, then she got me the prescription, and I did and e-consult for that ’cause I didn’t... I didn’t know how to... I didn’t really want... I get a bit nervous speaking on the phone, especially when I was younger, so I did an e-consult and they just gave me the prescription for that. And then I went to college, and again, and then I was a bit older, I was 16, and I’m at college now, and I’m thinking, ‘this is not... this is not what I wanna... this is not a long-term solution for me because I’m still in a lot of pain.’ And I think then I felt ready that I could go on, so... and a lot of my friends were as well, and I thought, ‘well, it’ll be good anyway, like, for... for my period, and it’ll be... it’ll be a good contraception,’ so I thought... I remember one day I was just in college and I just phoned the doctor’s up – I don’t think my Mum even knew that time – and I just said, “I really, really want the pill.” But I’d spoken about it with my Mum before and she told me that I couldn’t get the combined, ’cause I got migraines with like the visual thing. So, then I told... I made sure I told them that on the phone, and they put me on it straightaway.

OK. And then that was when you had trouble with bleeding, and you had looked on TikTok about some of the other side effects?

Yeah. And it was... it was quite a few things, because I just would forget to take it for a lot of the days, so it wasn’t really actually that. I tried my best, but... I don’t know. And then, yeah, I was bleeding every single day, and I remember I was still getting cramps – they weren’t as bad – but I was still getting them. And the bleeding was really... it was almost worse than the cramps in a way because it was... it was like... it was like long term and it was heavy. And also, I had... I was worried that I was getting anaemic as... I basically convinced myself I was having everything. So, I was worried I was getting anaemic ’cause... and my hair was falling out a lot as well, and I don’t eat meat, so I really kinda got myself worked up. So, I went to the doctor’s and I got a blood test, and I came off the pill, and I’d seen everyone’s experience, and I was... again, like 16, 17, I was starting to get really conscious about like how I looked and I really didn’t wanna put any weight on, on the pill either, so I did come off it then.

OK. And then what happened to your per... and then did your period pain...?

And then it came back, and it went back to normal. And that was... so that was when I was at college, and I remember coming out of lessons, and stuff, missing lessons, and I was like: ‘oh, this is... this is quite... this is my A-levels now,’ again, like: ‘I can’t let this stop it.’ And then I spoke to my Mum again and I looked at other contraception and basically the only one that I wanted was the implant because that was the only like long-term one, and I really just didn’t want the coil. So I went to the doctor, and I think they had a phone call appointment with me. Yeah, I had to book in for a phone call appointment to speak about it, and then she did run me through the process of it and what it was gonna be, and the... and probably the side effects, and then I booked in for my actual one, and I went in and got that put in. And that was a year and a half ago I had it put in, and yeah, it’s been in there since.

And how... and what... how has that impacted on you? Has that helped?

Yeah. And I think also because it was like a permanent thing, I couldn’t forget to take the pill. It was... I didn’t have to do anything. And I got the same thing as on the pill, I got bleeding for a long time, and that started to get annoying, so I also looked at what I can do to stop that, and... and some people said that you can double up on the pill and the implant for... to stop the periods. I remember I went... in October I went to Costa Rica, and yeah, I was volunteering, and like they don’t have access to tampons there, and things like that, and I was like: ‘I really, really can’t be bleeding every single day here,’ that’s like just...’ oh, it was just... was not good. So, I brought a little packet of the pill that I had left over with me, and I just took that when I was there, and that stopped it. And I still get quite irregular bleeding on the implant a year later, but I get no cramps at all.

OK.

And the bleeding’s quite light, and it doesn’t seem to last that long. It’s just really irregular, but it’s... it’s manage... it’s completely manageable.

So, on the whole, given everything you’ve tried and where you’re at...?

It’s... it’s been the best one for me, yeah, definitely. But then also I... I feel like maybe when I was 15, 16, I probably might have been a bit like young to have it, just for how... and just for how I was at that age.

Part B – interviewer question missing?
Yeah, yeah, I definitely did. I know some people don’t like contraception, ’cause they don’t like the idea of changing their hormones, like, I understand that, but I just think it saved... it saved me, so... so...—

Yeah, yeah.

And... and then once I got my implant as well and it stopped my cramps altogether, then my... and quite a lot of my friends have now got it as well, so we’ve all got... we’ve all got contraception because of that. And also, another thing the doctor told me as well before is that she told me that it wasn’t definite that it would stop my bleeding, and I think that was actually really nice to know as well. And she told me that like a third of people it... they, like, get their periods as normal, so it was good that she told me that. So, I was fully aware of what I was doing, so... yeah.

Abi thinks it would be helpful if teachers looked out for young people who might be struggling with period pain, and proactively offered understanding or support.

I would say, well, definitely in terms of teacher... teachers, is I’d... I’d always kind of wish that they looked out a little bit more and just noticed that if somebody was not quite themself and like not participating as much, maybe that they’re actually feeling quite unwell, and there’s something wrong, like they are in pain. And just being a little bit more just... I just sort of wish someone had said like: “If you need to step outside, that’s completely fine,” and just a little bit more understanding in terms of if they wanna go and get some water, or go to the toilet, sometimes just, yeah, that would be helpful.