Eidra

Brief Outline:

Eidra is 19. Her periods were markedly painful when they started, and made it difficult for her to do things. She thought this was normal, and reflects that young people aren’t taught about when they can seek help about their periods, and that this can stop them doing so. She has abdominal migraines with her periods, which aggravate her difficulties. She has seen a GP about this, and migraine medication has helped with this. She has PMS/PMDD, and has not especially found things that help with this, though developing her understanding of the menstrual cycle through reading and talking with friends has helped. She finds her period pain has got better over the years, and since her migraines were improved. She would like to know more about natural things that can help, and is not keen on trying hormonal contraception. She and her friend together noticed that when they stopped using tampons when they were travelling that their period pain got better. She thinks that period pain is minimised and normalised, including by teachers, school nurses and doctors, and would like to change this, so that people can reach out for help and support.

Eidra finds the tired feeling she gets with each period frustrating, and worries that it means she will fall behind at school, which feels “a bit unfair”.

I guess I kinda felt a bit frustrated ’cause it’s like every single month I was completely knocked down, and I was so... I still get this now, I get really tired, so like I can’t... I find it hard to get out of bed, and I had like no energy, and I was like: ‘this is a bit unfair,’ ’cause I felt like I was like falling behind. But then I guess a lot of girls are in that situation, but I did feel like I was falling behind. And I was constantly taking off like day... I was constantly taking sick days around my period as well, ’cause like I said, like I don’t feel very well like before then. So, it was like actually when I look back at it, I wasn’t... like it was affecting my school, and like my exam grades, and stuff like that.

Eidra went to see the GP about her migraines and vomiting which lined up with her period cycle. She saw the doctor and was prescribed migraine medication which helped

I went to see about... So, I would get really bad stomach migraines before, and this was directly correlated to my periods; I don’t... I only get them like near my periods or like before. And I just... I was throwing up a lot, I had the worst migraines, like I couldn’t... you know how excruciating they are – I couldn’t move. So, I did go to the doctor once. Very quickly though, they didn’t really talk about more, they prescribed me with migraine medication, and that was... that was like the extent of it. But it was like, they did say... they like noticed the correlation between my periods, but as I said, they didn’t expand on that.

OK. And did the migraine medication help a little bit?

The migraine medication did help, yeah, that... that was good.

That’s... that’s... that’s very good. But is that... and that... did... I think you said that’s something that still can sometimes happen to you now?

Yeah, it’s as I’ve grown up, like it’s got less worse, but I still do get them. And as I said, when I do get them, it... it is like the whole day’s written off, but yeah, which is quite annoying.

Eidra thought having period pain was normal. She felt this was reinforced by the reactions of people around her, including friends, teachers and school nurses. She worries normalising period pain might seem to ‘downsize’ it so people don’t ask for help.

I think they need to tell people, like show them if you’re experiencing this amount of pain, then you do need to go get help. Because the fact that that was so normalised, like really, that really shocks me.  And I think they should talk more about like... ’cause it’s not healthy to be having painkillers all the time. So, I think they should talk about more natural pain remedies and that should be like more taught, like that should be more mentioned and taught about in school.

Yeah. And that’s really interesting what you say. So, your sense was almost that being in that much pain was normalised?

Yeah, a hundred percent. Like I didn’t... as I said, until recently, I did... I thought that every single person got like period cramps and I thought bad period cramps were the norm, and that’s not... like that’s not right.

No. And do you... I know this is probably a really stupid question, but do you kinda have any sense of where you develop that idea that it... that that was the norm? ’cause like, it’s quite hard to know, isn’t it?

I think it’s like a variety of like talking to other girls who also like complain that they’ve got really bad period cramps. Talking to your teacher and then the teacher being like: “Oh, and it’s just bad period cramps.” I think like there is like this general consensus that it is just like a bad cramp or a bad pain and it’s never like shown that actually this isn’t... yeah, this is too much.

And especially with my migraine thing actually, that... like I... I thought that was normal for a long time, and that was not... like that was debilitating and that was not normal. And not everyone got that, but no one like mentioned it. Like if I told the teacher, for example, like: “Oh, Miss, like I’ve got... like I get really bad migraines on my period,” like she’d just be like: “Oh, that’s kinda normal, everyone gets a headache,” you know? So, like these things weren’t like... I went for years and years without like going to the doctor or like noticing anything, so... yeah.

And so that kind of: “Oh, yeah, no, that’s normal, that’s normal,” that can happen?

Uh-huh.

And you said that... did that kinda factor into how you may... like how and when you felt kinda able to think, ‘well, maybe I’ll go and see a doctor’?

Oh, yeah, I think a hundred percent; a hundred percent. I think if I’d have known sooner, I’d have like gone to the doctor sooner. And I think it’s... But yeah, yeah.  I go to like the nurse as well. I think that maybe she’d said something like: “Oh, and maybe you should...” ’cause I went to the nurse... and I think a lot of people went to the nurse, but I went to the nurse like quite repetitively around my period and she... she would... she would like just send me back to like class, or if it was really bad, send me home, but she never said go to another doctor and get this checked out, you know?

Eidra looked for information about all of the phases of periods. She found it helpful to learn about possible ways energy and emotions change through the whole cycle .

So, a lot of the things I’ve Googled, so it’s to do with like the phases of your period, so knowing like what... where my body is at depending on my cycle, or like looking at symptoms I have, like if I’m feeling really sick, or if I’ve got really like a bad stomach pain, and like what I can do to like make that better. So yeah, just things like that.

OK. And that’s mostly been through Google?

Yeah, just through Google.

And are there any things that you found helpful through doing that?

Yeah, a hundred percent. I think the thing about your cycles, I find that really helpful, ’cause obviously like as women we are... like we... like our energy levels are constantly changing, like what we need is constantly changing in like... because of our cycle, so knowing like where I am in that, really like helped me like know my energy levels, know like when I’d be tired or more emotional. And I think like I looked up a lot of like natural cures, and like a lot of like natural supplements you can take, or like more vitamins that you can help to like make your period less painful. I think that was really helpful, so... yeah.

Eidra found the solidarity of sharing menstrual experiences very “bonding” and that the kindness of people in sharing learning and giving support was “quite lovely”.

It was kind of like a little bonding experience actually, you know, ’cause you all go in the bathrooms and you all chat about it and you all give... I do think like growing up, like young girls, we do... they are very open and we do actually talk about women’s health quite a lot. So, I think, I don’t know, that I think that’s really sweet. I never felt like alone or like it was just me that was going through it.

OK. So, would you say that... was that quite an important part of the...?

Yeah, a hundred percent; a hundred percent. I think... ’cause I think as well, like getting your period, especially when you’re so young, like you do feel like you’re finally turning into a woman and it is something that like little, you know what I mean, girls always like talk about, and it is like a little... it’s almost like a bonding thing ’cause you know everyone goes through. Even if you’re like just like going out and you like haven’t got a tampon, like everyone’s always like willing to share and, you know, so I think that’s quite lovely.

Eidra went to see the GP about her migraines and vomiting which lined up with her period cycle. She saw the doctor and was prescribed migraine medication which helped.

I went to see it about... So, I would get really bad stomach migraines before, and this was directly correlated to my periods; I don’t... I only get them like near my periods or like before. And I just... I was throwing up a lot, I had the worst migraines, like I couldn’t... you know how excruciating they are – I couldn’t move. So, I did go to the doctor once.  Very quickly though, they didn’t really talk about more, they prescribed me with migraine medication, and that was... that was like the extent of it. But it was like, they did say... they like noticed the correlation between my periods, but as I said, they didn’t expand on that.

OK. And did the migraine medication help a little bit?

The migraine medication did help, yeah, that... that was good.

That’s... that’s... that’s very good. But is that... and that... did... I think you said that’s something that still can sometimes happen to you now?

Yeah, it’s as I’ve grown up, like it’s got less worse, but I still do get them. And as I said, when I do get them, it... it is like the whole day’s written off, but yeah, which is quite annoying.

For Eidra, who has ADHD, managing period pain in class adds to the difficulties she already experiences with concentration.

Probably quite annoying, I’d go to the nurse ’cause I felt really ill, and then they like wouldn’t send you home ‘’cause it’s just your period’, and I think that’s like quite frustrating, ’cause it’s like I’m still in pain, like you’re still in pain, even if it’s like a... like a normal thing to happen. And like sitting in... through a long class, I’ve got ADHD as well, so I’ve got bad attention, so sitting through a long class, already not being able to like pay attention, and then alongside that having like quite like pain and headaches and feeling really sick, like I think that’s quite... quite debilitating.

Eidra was prescribed the pill for period problems but her friends experience of side effects put her off trying it.

Well, so I was put on the contraceptive pill, which I never actually took; I never actually took. And I was just doing my research and I was talking to my other friends who’d been on it, and it’s just, I think I’m quite... I’m very like... I don’t know how to describe this: if my hormones off balance, or my... I can tell my hormones are off balance, and so I like have decided that having a drug that actively changes something like that in me, isn’t like a good idea. I’ve had a lot of friends become like very emotional or like... like they’ve gained a lot of weight and become like very unhappy with themselves. I’m not saying that gaining weight is bad, but it’s like... and had like physical changes they haven’t liked and they haven’t felt physically their best. And I... it’s just not... for me, it’s not worth it, yeah.

So, on balance, that kinda worry about the side effects and things makes you feel like it’s... it’s just not the right thing for... for you?

Uh-huh.

Can you remember anything about why... why you thought you might have been given it or why you were offered it? You don’t have to say if you don’t want to.

Oh, it was for contraception, but I didn’t... yeah, so I didn’t take it ’cause it wasn’t... I didn’t think it was right, yeah.