Scarlett

Brief Outline:

Scarlett is 13. She started her periods when she was 11 and they were immediately very painful, with pain throughout three weeks of every four week cycle which stopped her sleeping. She missed about a third of her school days because of the pain and exhaustion. She saw a GP and was referred, but there was difficulty working out whether she should be seen by gynaecology or paediatrics, so it was slow to get help. She also had to go to A and E because of the pain. In desperation, her mum was able to support her to see a gynaecologist privately, where she had blood tests and an MRI to look for endometriosis. This didn’t find anything definite, which was initially a bit disappointing, but they understand the uncertainty. She was started on combined hormonal contraception in patch form, which gives her a bit of skin irritation, but which has helped her periods hugely, so that she now feels she can get back to doing what she enjoys without her periods stopping her or dominating things. She found the chat function on Flo helpful, but she and her mum both wish there was better evidence, research and resources by and for young people with their periods. They want health professionals to take young people coming to see them with period problems seriously and not skim over it, but recognise the impact and help them feel heard and supported.

Scarlett explains how, in her school, she has experienced boys laughing at people who are emotional and blame this on their periods. This makes her want to avoid talking to them.

Do you ever talk to boys about periods? Do you have any kind of thoughts on what you’d think about that?

No, I don’t really talk to many boys about periods. They’re... they’re kind of just, you know, immature about it and they kinda laugh about it. So, I wouldn’t really feel comfortable like discussing it with any boys in my school.

Mm.

But if they were mature about it, I would probably discuss it more.

OK. OK. And have you had that experience of them laughing or being silly, or you’re just more worried that they might?

I’ve had the experi... my friends have also had the experience of them laughing at people, and like saying, you know, whenever a woman... whenever a girl or a woman in my... in my school is being, you know, a bit down or a bit angry, they’re like: “Oh, she must be on her period,” like in a joking way, ha-ha way, so...

Mm. And what do you think about that?

I don’t really enjoy it ’cause a lot of the time it’s just like, ‘why would you just dull down someone’s emotions so much to just like one week of their... of their monthly cycle?’

Scarlett was told to expect ‘a little bit of pain’, which she did not feel reflected her experience of periods and period pain.

They never really focused on the period pain aspect, they just focused on like: ‘you’re gonna get some pain, you’re... you’re gonna get bleeding, just take a hot water bottle and get on with it.’

Yeah.

 I appreciate that, but it’s like a general... it’s just like a general... you know, like: ‘here’s what to do.’—

I just remember sitting in the... in the... in the assembly hall with all of the girls in my year, and hearing the woman up at the front saying, “Yeah, your... you’ll... you’ll get your first period, there will be bleeding and there will be a little bit of pain.” And I was like: ‘a little bit, that’s not what I’ve experienced,’ but obviously I didn’t say that out loud. But I was just wondering like... like how... how like... how to explain this? But like how bad do they think that girls’ periods can get, and like how little pain that people can experience like through period pain, especially young girls?

Yeah.

It’s just like, not everyone has the same amount of pain: some people have loads of pain, and some people will have no pain at all.

Scarlett learned about periods in a separated class, but the boys learned a year or so later, which she was happy about. She would have liked to learn more about what boys might experience at puberty.

No it was a mixed boys and girls school.

And did you get your learning about kinda puberty, and things, with boys and girls together, or was it just the girls?

It was separate.

Do you have any thoughts on... on that?

I mean I don’t really because a lot of the boys learned it a year later, which I don’t really mind because at least for my year... for my class, they were quite mature about it, which I’m very happy about.  But I’m just... like we didn’t really get to learn about how boys go through puberty; it was mostly focused on the girls. I would just like it, you know, integrated a bit.

Yeah. So that’s interesting. So actually, they ended up learning about girls, but you didn’t feel that you ever really got taught about what they go through?

No, really—

Mum: Maybe just in Biology class now?

Yeah, yeah, it was just really about like, you know, the changes that they go through, but it wasn’t, you know, as in depth as the... as the... as the women’s was, you know like at P7, like they just kinda skimmed over it in Year 8.

Scarlett’s school has a system whereby teachers who give out free period products have a flower on the window of their door. She finds this a helpful system and appreciates the kindness of the teachers who run it.

So, a lot of my... a lot of my teachers have the flower outside their door. So, after class, if someone started their period, you can just go up and ask for a pad or just... And we’re allowed to go to the toilet most... most of the... most of the periods, it’s just like right after lunch, or right after break, is whenever, you know, people say, “Oh, you should have gone at lunch, or you should have gone to break,” and that’s whenever you kind of have to say, “Yeah, I’ve started my period.” Which is—

OK. And I’ve not come across the system of flowers out the... outside the door, but that sounds great. Can... can you tell me a bit more about it?

Yeah. Every... every single... well, it’s mostly female teachers that have a flower outside their door to let girls know that there is period products inside. The woman that does it, like the woman that... the woman that has, you know, orchestrated the whole flower experiment for my school, she has loads of period products inside of like a cupboard, right outside of her classroom, just in case anyone needs, you know, anything quickly, so then they don’t have to talk to a teacher.

OK. So, the flower is mostly about products. Does it mean that they’re teachers that have maybe done training or are happy to talk about periods, or is it’s more about the products?

Teachers are usually happy to talk about it. But if you have... if anyone here, like in our... in my school, has any questions, you usually go to the head of, you know, the flower... the whole flower thing.

OK. And is she... is she someone that you can talk to about periods?

Yeah, she’s lovely, yeah, she’s very nice about it.

OK. And you said that was mostly the female teachers.

Uh-huh.

Scarlett saw a private gynaecologist who was ‘so helpful and so sympathetic’. Her understanding made her feel that she was not alone and ‘wasn’t invisible’.

But we were so grateful whenever we met her in her clinic, and she was just so helpful and so sympathetic and made Scarlett feel like she wasn’t invisible, you know?

Can you remember anything about what it was like to talk about it or how you felt or how you experienced any of those appointments?

Well, the most enjoyable appointment for me, well, enjoyable, you know, like as enjoyable as a doctor’s appointment can be.

Fair enough.

But the most enjoyable appointment was with the... the private gynae. She was lovely. She was very understanding. She... she made me feel like that I... that I wasn’t alone and that other girls have this too and it just wasn’t just, you know, just take a hot water bottle and go to school.

Scarlett was 11 when she was referred for specialist care. Her Mum explained they were told she was too young to see NHS gynaecology, but then paediatrics did not see gynaecology problems. They felt they were falling between two stools.

Mum: So thankfully the private gynaecologist, who’s called Dr... Dr [name], and she’s very good at advocating for women’s health and... and for young women’s health, and she was so helpful. And I think really that, to me, a big problem was that the NHS were saying she was too young to see Gynae, but whenever actually... the Paeds picked it up, they said this was a gynae problem, so we were falling between the two stools.

Mm.

Mum: So, thankfully I... I had... I have, you know, [insurance name], so I was able to... she... we were able to see the private gynaecologist and it was covered through that, thankfully. Although, do you know what, I would have paid anything to get it sorted, but I understand, so... But that I... I feel then that there’s children out there maybe who wouldn’t be as close to their Mums, and Scarlett can talk... feels like she can talk to me about anything, but there’s probably girls out there who maybe don’t have a good relationship with their Mum and maybe some vulnerable families who aren’t maybe as well educated as me. So, I’m just glad that we’ve come out the other side of it, but you just realise that there are people out there that would not be in the same position as me.

Scarlett had blood tests and an MRI. These didn’t ‘find anything’. Her gynaecologist then started her on treatment with a contraceptive patch, which has been really helpful.

And... and then you had the tests, and can you remember... yeah, is there anything that you want... that it would be helpful to think about, about having the test or hearing the results, or anything like that?

Scarlett: I can’t really remember most of it, but I remember most of the tests.

Mum: And where we got the MRI done.

Scarlett: Yeah the MRI.

Mum: It was around Christmas.

Scarlett: Yeah. The MRI, most of it was just blood tests, scans and MRIs on my stomach and, you know, just like testing my blood, and stuff, to see if anything was wrong.

Mm.

Scarlett: And we couldn’t find anything, but it was just so unbearable. So, the... the doctor... the gynaecologist put us on the patch immediately.

Mum: —we don’t... it’s... it’s then: ‘oh, are... are we gonna just have to live with this?’ But then it were... then that it was Dr... [Dr name] said, “No, we’ll put her on the patch.” She... she wanted to run these tests before... you know, before she gave any medication, she wanted to have a good look at what was going on in there. And then we got the medication and I said it was a couple of months then when it started to kick in. But there were really from... from that December to March, I was still concerned that, you know, there... there is nothing that’s gonna be able to be done here. And I think I was maybe phoning her office a few times, you know, kinda saying “is there anything else you can give?” But we gave it the time, and it definitely, it was a March time it kicked in, and she... and Scarlett started to notice a difference.

Great. Brilliant. So now that you’ve had that other experience on top of it, Scarlett, so you said initially you were... felt a bit upset: how’s... how’s that, has that transition... how do you feel kind of now, now that you’ve found something that thankfully works for you a little bit?

Scarlett: I feel quite relieved that I can continue doing what I... what I love, you know? Going to school and doing my hobbies.

Mm.

Scarlett:  I am still a bit curious to figure out what was actually wrong, but I know... but I know I probably won’t be figuring that out till a bit later. So yeah, I just feel a lot better than I used to. And I just feel a lot more relieved.

Scarlett felt upset and ‘unseen’ when her MRI scan did not show anything. She was told that this was possible early on in her period journey, but it was still ‘scary’.

And so, when you found out that the tests hadn’t found anything definite, is that right? How... how did that... how did you then feel? And... and was...

Scarlett: I... I felt like very upset that they couldn’t find anything and very, you know, unseen. I remember—

Mum: It’s... it’s strange. It’s... it’s obviously should be a relief that there was nothing there, obviously. But whenever they turn around and say, “We don’t know what this is,”—

It’s very scary —we don’t... it’s... it’s then: ‘oh, are... are we gonna just have to live with this?’ 

Scarlett had terrible period pain which stopped her sleeping or being able to go to school. When she was 11 years old, her gynaecologist started her on the contraception patch, which has helped significantly.

Mum: So, what happened then was she said... so you think this is still an 11-year-old child. The gynaecologist was willing to put her on the contraceptive patch, Evra, and I was willing to try it ’cause I couldn’t... we weren’t sleeping, she... it... it was just awful, unbearable, and I thought this cannot be her life. So, she went on the patch in the December and then it was really by the March things started to regulate, and to be honest she hasn’t been back.

She... well, to me, what now she has is normal period pain, what I would have had when I was... when I was a teenager that would have been resolved with paracetamol or ibuprofen.

Scarlett: A lot of the times I was just sitting down randomly and I would get this sharp like stabbing pain in my stomach, and it would go on for like a few hours and I wouldn’t get any sleep. I was thinking, ‘oh my goodness, when is this going to end? Am I gonna have to live like this?’

Mm.

Scarlett: And it was just really just awful.

Mm.

Scarlett: I’m so glad that I have... that I’m on the patch now, that... that the pain has stopped and that I can finally get some sleep.

OK. Great. And can you tell me a bit about your experience with the patch, and with the medicines that you’ve tried?

Scarlett: It’s been quite well so far. I don’t experience any pain unless I like take it off and leave it off for a few days.

Mm.

Mum:  Yeah, she gets the... she gets the... you know, it’s a bit like being on the pill, so it’s... and so every... every Friday, and actually you’ll be changing tonight. Every Friday night she gets a new patch for three Friday nights, and then on the... on the fourth, she takes it off and has a... a break for the period. And, well, there’s breakthrough bleeding, I don’t... I’m not really sure what it’s supposed to be called, but she then... the pain that she gets isn’t as bad as what she was having. It still is enough to make her have to take, yeah, Nurofen or, you know, Feminax, or paracetamol, she like alternates, and sometimes she would even ask for a hot water bottle, but it’s nowhere near as bad as it was previously.

OK, brilliant. And have you had any side effects or any trouble taking them?

Mum: Just a rash.

Scarlett: Yeah.

Mum: She gets a... a rash on her back from the—

Is that from the glue?

Mum: We’ve decided... we’ve decided that is better than the pain.

Scarlett: Yeah.

Mum: So, any time it’s annoying her, I say, “What would you prefer, the rash or the pain?”

OK. And how do you feel about your periods kinda now? Has it made a difference to how you feel Scarlett?

Scarlett: Yeah, I just kind of, like, you know, I kind of, you know, like,—

Mum: Mm, it’s OK.

Scarlett: —I kind of just go on with them, you know? Like I can go to school fine now, I don’t really miss any days unless I’m sick, or something, but because of my period, I don’t miss any days, like I don’t miss any days because of this patch, and I don’t miss any days like once I’ve taken a break, because it is so dulled down—

Brilliant.

Scarlett: -than what it used to be.

Scarlett’s Mum didn’t have problems with her periods as a teenager. She was worried when her daughter’s periods were so painful and took her to the doctors.

Mum: Well,  I... I did know... I... I know about endometriosis and I know an aunt of mine had it and she had trouble having children.

Mm.

Mum: Now, I never had any problems with periods as a... you know, in my experience it was just a day of pain and maybe a few days and then it was... it was helped with paracetamol, but because I was watching my... my little girl go through all this, I just had to do something, and obviously were then was doing a bit of research on the internet to see, you know, what it could be, and endometriosis is something that kept coming up, but it did seem to be, you know, an 11-year-old child, you know, there was nothing on that ’cause they... they don’t know.

Scarlett’s Mum says she holds a worry in the “back of my head” about the possible future impacts of her daughter’s painful periods.

Mum: I think... I think my... my concern is, is that when she’s of an age where she... maybe she’s, you know, get married and wants to have children, or whatever, that then she’s gonna have to go off this patch, and obviously... you know, and then there’ll be... But look, I know that’s worrying about way into the future, but that in the back of my head I do wonder, you know, when she comes off it, is she gonna be put back into that?

Mm.

Mum: ’cause I would... have experience of women in work that... who I would work with, who would have very, very, you know, almost debilitating pa... the pains, and I see them suffering, and it’s because they’re trying to have children that they can’t go on the... back on the pill, or whatever.

Uh-huh.

Mum: So that’s in the back of my head, but look, we’re not gonna worry about that now, she’s only 13.

Yeah, yeah.

Mum: But Mummies worry, you know.

Scarlett’s mum thinks it is really important for parents to advocate for their young people, and help them access support if periods are affecting their daily life.

Scarlett: Don’t stress about it too much. It won’t... it won’t be the end of the world, at least in my experience.

Mum: Well, that’s because you got help.

Scarlett: Uh-huh.

Mum: But the thing is, I would... and I would suggest that you seek out the end of the earth to get help, don’t stop. And especially for mums, it’s really important to advocate for their... the young girls. And... and then if there’s maybe girls out there who, you know, if their mum isn’t around, it’s having to educate the dads and, you know, if... if it’s starting to affect their daily life, then it’s... that that’s not normal. And I know there were lucky people like me, I didn’t have any... really any big problems, but there are... you have to be aware that there are girls that are gonna experience major problems.