Bella Z

Brief Outline:

Bella Z is 18. Her periods were really painful, and they impacted on her sleep and being able to go to school. When at school, the pain, and needing to be constantly vigilant and holding worries about the pain and bleeding could impact on her concentration and enjoyment, which made her dread her periods. She was supported by her mum to speak with a GP and had pain medication and then hormonal contraception. She tried a couple till she found one that suited her, and has felt better since starting this. She thinks having options for advice and support at school, and being given a range of options from doctors would be helpful.

Bella Z had bad period pain. She tried pain medicines from the pharmacy and GP which didn’t fully help. She is now using hormonal contraception, and feels better on the whole.

Yeah, well, it does, it just makes you feel like... I don’t know, yeah, you don’t really know what to do with it because like you’ve never felt it before, so it’s like you’re just trying to do everything to stop it. Like it does make you feel quite like upset as well, ’cause obviously it’s a really bad pain. So, you just end up getting quite upset and like just feeling abs... like so helpless, like that you’re stuck with it and you can’t... like you can’t do anything about it until it goes away. And it... in the moment, obviously it’s gonna pass, like the... the next day it might be gone, but like you’re... you’re just thinking, ‘oh, this is so bad,’ and you just want it to go away.

Yeah, that’s... It’s just horrible.

Mm, yeah, it is.

How... I mean, you at the very beginning talked about some of the things that you’ve tried, that have helped, like mefenamic acid: can you tell me at all about your experience of kind of deciding to go and see a doctor, how you thought... or how you... and then maybe... and what that was like?

Yeah. ’cause I think it was that I’d like had... I had like a bad, cramps, and then I’m... I’m pretty sure I tried the paracetamol, and the ibuprofen, but it wasn’t really like enough, like I wanted something that would like make it stop, like more, and work a bit better. So, I think I got an appointment with the GP just over like the phone, and then they subscript... like they gave the subscription for the mefenamic acid. So, I think it’s just about talking about... like with the GP about what like is the best option to help, yeah.

And can you remember what options you kind of were given?

I think they probably gave the option of the pill, but I’m... I’m not too sure. I think like more the... my thought process was going for mefenamic acid, and then if that wasn’t... that didn’t help enough, then I’d probably... then I’d obviously tried the pill in the end.

OK. And what’s that been like? I think you said you’ve had still some pain and bleeding with it?

Yeah, I think with the first one, I just had irregular bleeding. And then this one, I literally had one day where I had really bad cramps, but it must have been like linked to something else, because it’s been only one day, and then... I’ve still got some bleeding on this one, but I... I don’t know if it’s just ’cause it was earlier on in the... like, that I’d taken the pill, but... I don’t know. But it’s obviously my cramps are less, like because... like you don’t... on the pill, you don’t get real periods, so you obviously don’t get as many cramps. But I have... where on the days where I haven’t taken them, like I think earlier on in the pill, like now it’s got better, but I did get like cramps, like not as bad, but you could still feel that they were there. But yeah, no, definitely been better.

Bella Z waits for her pain to settle a bit or for her medications to start working before going in to school a bit late, but sometimes she doesn’t feel up to going in.

And did you ever have to miss school or... or kinda go home from school?

I think there’s been a couple of occasions where they’ve started in the morning and then so because they were so bad in the morning, I’ve missed like a... a bit of school. And... and then when they’ve like settled down a bit, or like the medications have like kicked in, then I’d like go to school.  But I don’t actually... I don’t remember... I might have gone home from school a couple of times, but not very often, ’cause I normally get them in the morning and then I might go in late. Or I think there’s been a... like a couple of days as well that maybe they haven’t got better, or I’m still not feeling up for it, up to like going back to school, so I... I just come... I stay home the rest of the day. ’cause I guess after you’ve had that pain as well, you kind of... I don’t know, you feel quite exhausted ’cause it’s like, I don’t know, you’ve had to deal with obviously feeling all those emotions and like the pain, so sometimes you don’t feel up for going to school anyway.

Bella Z talks about how her period pain makes her feel upset and helpless.

Yeah, well, it does, it just makes you feel like... I don’t know, yeah, you don’t really know what to do with it because like you’ve never felt it before, so it’s like you’re just trying to do everything to stop it. Like it does make you feel quite like upset as well ’cause obviously it’s a really bad pain. So, you just end up getting quite upset and like just feeling abs... like so helpless, like that you’re stuck with it and you can’t... like you can’t do anything about it until it goes away. And it... in the moment, obviously it’s gonna pass, like the... the next day it might be gone, but like you’re... you’re just thinking, ‘oh, this is so bad,’ and you just want it to go away.

But... so you feel a little bit hopeless, but like obviously there is ways that you can make them at ease, but it’s just waiting for them to like kick in. And obviously if you’re taking mefenamic acid and you’re... perhaps it’s more like you’ve got to wait for it to kick in before... So I guess you’ve just got to think like, just wait for it to stop because it will eventually, hopefully.

Bella Z believes it is beneficial to learn about periods in primary school, when most people start their periods, but feels ongoing education in secondary school would also help, as she doesn't recall receiving much herself.

But I think, to be fair, with the bleeding, I feel like maybe there is already like quite a bit of information on it because you do it in primary school and that’s I guess when a lot of people start. But maybe anything about bleeding like in secondary school would... might be helpful, like lower down, to help people with that ’cause I guess... I feel like it is like a balance between when you’re younger, you don’t wanna talk about it as much, so then you probably have to have... like be forced through like a lesson on it, or whatever, to actually get it in your head.

So, something about needing it to be earlier, but then something a bit later when it’s maybe... when it’s applied to more people, and... and bleeding. And did you ever learn about any of the newer kinda period products like cups or pants or...?

I don’t... I... I ki... I vaguely remember. I actually think we might have done it in secondary school once, ’cause I kinda remem... I... I don’t know how... I don’t... I’m like my brain, like I don’t know where I’m getting the information from. Like I don’t know whether I’ve got it from home or from like school, but I do vaguely remember learning about cups.

Bella Z learned about periods in a class separated by gender. While she preferred that approach, she can also see advantages in making sure everyone knows about periods.

Do you have any kind of recollection of when you learnt about periods and... and what that was like?

Yeah, I remember ’cause they did, like, sex ed lessons, and I remember them splitting up like boys from girls and then... I don’t think they actually split them up anymore. Like I know ’cause my dad’s a teacher, I think they’re mixed classes now, but they split us up and I remember them talking about... I think they might have shown us like a pad. I can’t remember it that well ’cause it was so long... long ago, but I think they showed us like a pad and I feel like they talked about bleeding. I can’t really remember if they did talk about cramps – they might have – but yeah, I think they’re just kind of more in like general.

Gen... And do you have any thoughts on kinda being split up or being together having had your—?

Yeah, well, I feel like at that age, I think you... and we probably would have appreciated it. Like ’cause I think, especially at that age, it’s like: ‘oh, like ‘er boys,’ like you don’t wanna be friends with boys, like you’re... you’re more thinking about that at that age, so I think... And they would probably be more like less understanding about it. I think like they... ’cause they’re kids, they don’t really have any filter. They probably just think like: ‘oh, that’s so gross,’ like, and more so stuff like that. So, I do think it probably does help like I would have preferred for it to be split up. But then obviously they need to learn about it too, so I do understand why it does help for it to be that mixed ’cause it’s good for them to know like earlier on.

Bella Z hasn’t looked periods and period pain up on social media. While she recognises the experiences could be quite relatable, she worries about the reliability of the information.

Yeah, I’ve never actually like searched anything up about it on there, but obviously TikTok, you usually get like loads of videos like about anything that you search up. So, people might think to do that. But obviously I don’t think it’s the best idea because, I... I... I don’t know, you might get people saying the wrong thing. I don’t know, it’s not always that reliable.  But I’ve never actually tried it, but it might be helpful; I’m not too sure. But I think it’s probably better to more search up like not from other people’s... Well, obviously other people’s perspective as well, but I think the internet and actually getting from like a medical opinion, as well, is probably helpful. But I guess you could... can’t then get the experience, so TikTok might be helpful to see how other people like have dealt with it as well, yeah.

Bella Z would take pain medicines in the morning before school and wait for them to work before going in. If she knew she was likely to get cramps, she would take medicines in the morning before school to try to prevent them.

And then like the way I kind of like dealt with it is I’d obviously take that like twice a day, I think it was, or maybe three times a day, so it was like with a meal, and then I’d normally then take that in the mornings. So, like to avoid then... ’cause I know that I would then get cramps in that day, so then I’d take it in the mornings of the next like few days to like prevent that pain from like coming in the first place. But I think there was a couple of times where it had actually like, I’d go into school late it’d be so bad and obviously you can’t do anything about it, and if you’re at school and it happens, it’s like, you’re... you... it’s hard to obviously deal with because you... unless you can go home, you’re just stuck with the pain. But... so you feel a little bit hopeless, but like obviously there is ways that you can make them at ease, but it’s just waiting for them to like kick in.

Bella Z has not had a visible leak at school though was often worried that this might happen. However, when a friend of hers ‘leaked’ on a school trip, she and the teachers supported her.

But I guess I’m kinda hearing that quite... ’cause the bleeding is harder, maybe, to talk about than... than the pain?

Yeah. Yeah, no ’cause I think it’s weird, like you shouldn’t feel embarrassed about it, but like if you leak like... or like a lot of people would feel embarrassed about that. And I don’t really know what it is ’cause obviously it’s so normal, but I think it’s just with anything. Like, obviously if you like wet yourself, you’d find that embarrassing, and then it’s probably like... like it’s... it’s kinda the same thing, but then a different colour. Like I think it’s just kind of just not being in control of it and it like... I think from other people, you more... If like you saw someone that had leaked, you feel bad for them, like it’s not... ’cause obviously it’s permanent as well, like it’s... it’s just obviously not... not a nice thing to experience, so...

No. Is it something... Have you ever experienced that, or...?

I actually... not in public, like I’ve been quite lucky with that. Or if I have, like it hasn’t shown up on like whatever bottoms I’m wearing. Like, yeah, it wouldn’t be noticeable, only really like onto like pants and stuff, so I’ve actually been lucky with that. But I know one of my friends like had... like that did happen to them, like it’s obviously not a nice experience. So that was obviously when we were quite a lot younger. So, it is... I think people just find it quite embarrassing, like and I don’t... yeah.

Yeah, no, I think that’s your... I’m sorry, and you poor... your poor friend.

Mm.—

How... how did...—

Mm.

—can you... did you... were you kind of able to support, and how did people around her react, can you remember?

Yeah. Well, it was like I don’t think many people actually really like noticed. Like I... I don’t think anyone actually noticed like apart from me, ’cause I was obviously sitting next to her. And we were actually on a school trip as well, so she... I think she just went... I think she did tell a teacher, and then she went to the toilets and it was all basically sorted out in the end, but it was more like she was... but I think she was wearing dark colours, so it wasn’t as noticeable, so... But obviously, it was when we were younger, so even I hadn’t started yet, so it was like quite hard obviously to relate, but obviously I was still like there for her like, and tried to help, but you can’t really do much, but... yeah.

Yeah. But there’s something about the worry of it.

Yeah, exactly. I think that’s what a lot of people... Like you hear like a lot of my friends will be like: “Oh, like, I leaked.” Like a lot of people, it’s like, if you’re on your period, you’re... you are just worrying about like leak... as long... like if you’ve forgotten about it, but you are just worrying about leaking and like all of this stuff.

Bella Z prefers not to talk about periods with male friends because she thinks they might not understand without personal experience, so it wouldn’t really help.

Yeah, mixed school. I wouldn’t talk about it with male friends. Like I... I think it’s... like, I don’t know. I think... you see some stuff, like not personally with my friends, but there are some people like online that would say... or like you hear people saying... or like: “That’s gross.” Like do you... they don’t... I just don’t think they understand it the same way, obviously, if you’re experiencing it, so I... like they can’t really do much to help or anything, so... and I wouldn’t really feel comfortable talking about it with them.

Bella Z reflects that not knowing how other people deal with pain makes it hard to compare and make sense of period pain.

—and comparing it to kind of... do you ever have a kind of... with your friends, kinda get a measure of how you might understand each other’s pain?

Yeah. Well, I think I used to imagine that it’s the same pain that you go through, but theirs might be like more, or less. Like I know one of my friends actually gets like... or used to... like not anymore, but used to actually get sick from it because of the pain, so you can obviously imagine how bad that must be. And then I... I get a few friends that like it’s... like they might get a small pain, but they seem like they’re fine. Like, so I think it’s just on kind of a scale of the same pain, but then some’s worse, some’s better. But then there’s also like taking into account other people’s like pain thresholds. Like they might be able to deal with pain like more, or less than you, so it is quite hard to compare. But I used to imagine that it’s the same pain as you, but just a different level.

Bella Z recognises that all treatments including hormones can have pros and cons. Having reliable information helped her balance these up, and she has found a POP that helps her. She worries that not all information on social media is reliable.

Yeah. ’cause I think it was that I’d like had... I had like a bad cramps, and then I’m... I’m pretty sure I tried the paracetamol, and the ibuprofen, but it wasn’t really like enough, like I wanted something that would like make it stop, like more, and work a bit better. So, I think I got an appointment with the GP just over like the phone, and then they subscript... like they gave the subscription for the mefenamic acid. So, I think it’s just about talking about... like with the GP about what like is the best option to help, yeah.

And can you remember what options you kind of were given?

I think they probably gave the option of the pill, but I’m... I’m not too sure. I think like more the... my thought process was going for mefenamic acid, and then if that wasn’t... that didn’t help enough, then I’d probably... then I’d obviously tried the pill in the end.

OK. And what’s that been like? I think you said you’ve had still some pain and bleeding with it?

Yeah, I think with the first one, I just had irregular bleeding. And then this one, I literally had one day where I had really bad cramps, but it must have been like linked to something else, because it’s been only one day, and then... I’ve still got some bleeding on this one, but I... I don’t know if it’s just ’cause it was earlier on in the... like, that I’d taken the pill, but... I don’t know. But it’s obviously my cramps are less, like because... like you don’t... on the pill, you don’t get real periods, so you obviously don’t get as many cramps. But I have... where on the days where I haven’t taken them, like, I think earlier on in the pill, like now it’s got better, but I did get like cramps, like not as bad, but you could still feel that they were there. But yeah, no, definitely been better.

OK, good. I’m very...  really.

Yeah.

Did you have any worries about hormones or...?

Well, I know it does have side effects, like it comes with the side effects, but that it’s not gonna affect me like long term, like seriousness, so... And I think you obviously, when taking the pill, you agree... or like you think, ‘oh, it does have these side effects,’ but you’re kind of taking that risk. Well, not risk, but like you’re taking of... like is you get pros and cons from both. Yeah, you know what you’re signing up to.

Yeah.

Yup.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, you’re seeing... you’re weighing it up.

Mm.

But those things that you were able to get reassured about, do you think those are things that may... that other people, or maybe your friends, do worry about?

Yeah, I feel like on the internet...or on like... like TikTok and stuff like that, people ask... I can’t remember what they’re saying about it, but they’re saying, yeah, like that the hormones aren’t like natural.

Mm.

So, I guess people could get worried about that, and it’s stuff that the... like social media just... like it just sounds like they think they’re better than like the actual professionals, which is obviously annoying, ’cause if you don’t have reassurance, then people might think that it’s not good. But I think from my friends, like I think a couple of them are also on the pill, and I think they feel like fine about it. I know one of them went off it and... and was like: “Oh, like it’s so much better.” But I think people have to just remember like it’s different for different people. Like it’s a completely different like experience for taking the pill. Like you really don’t... like you don’t get the same experience as other people might get, so it... it just depends.

I think it’s good that when you’re on the pill you have like frequent like GP appointments, so obviously to check up that it’s not doing anything serious, and I guess people just like be honest in those appointments, ’cause obviously otherwise something could be happening that’s not good, but...