Elsa

Brief Outline:

Elsa is 18 and is in her first year at university. Her periods aren’t especially painful, though she gets some general aches with them. They are irregular and really heavy, which means she has to be vigilant about what she wears and where she sits. Not being sure when they might start means she is always a little bit wary that they might, so she is always prepared. She always carries pain relief and pads, and shares these with anyone who might need them; an action which is reciprocated in a network of support. She also has emotional fluctuations with her periods. She has had some prolonged periods. She was very tired and had a blood test with her GP and was found to be anaemic and has had medication for iron and to slow the flow, which helped although getting repeated prescriptions can be tricky. She doesn’t think she wants to trial hormonal treatments because she is worried about side effects and the underpinning research. She would like teachers and doctors to curate open spaces than enable conversations about periods and reflects that for her finding ways to talk about periods helped her feel more comfortable about them.

Elsa’s periods have changed between light and heavy, and regular to unpredictable. She feels “constantly on edge” and always “prepared” for bleeding – for herself and anyone else who might need something.

Can you tell me a little bit more about that transition?

Yeah. So, they used to be pretty light. And then when I was about, ooh, no,12, 13, they got really heavy, but they were consistent.

Yeah.

And then when I was 14, sort of starting the new school year, they became very inconsistent, still heavy when they came, but it was sort of a bit more unpredictable.

OK.

And they’ve been not completely unpredictable, but not very consistent since I was about 14. And just this summer, they started being just ridiculously long, so...

Mm, OK. And how has that kinda impacted on you, the inconsistency? What’s that been like to kinda manage?

It’s just been a bit like I’m sort of constantly on edge that I’m going to start at a very inconvenient time. So, it’s sort of like, all... like always, always carrying pads and stuff just in case, and also for other people but, you know, sort of trying to be prepared. Yeah, and the heavy flow does mean, like, I have to change like every hour or so, which sort of, I have to plan around that just to, you know, make sure that there’s a toilet or something nearby. 

Elsa explains how period emotions make it harder for her to do things like school or college work.

Do the... and I mean the emotion, the changes that you get, how do they impact on you?

They’re sort of... they’re... they don’t really impact me day to day, I don’t think, it’s just sort of at the end of the day like I’m tired and like I will just sort of like collapse, and if something sort of mildly bad happens, it’s suddenly it’s a massive deal and I’m gonna cry about it. And, even honestly, really, really little things like if I have an essay to write, I’m really tired and I can’t find any motivation to write it, and it’s just going really badly, you know, been sitting here the whole day. It’s sort of like it piles on top of each other and eventually I’ll cry about it, and it’s like, it really doesn’t matter, but... yeah.

Elsa understands that schools have to be safe with medications, but can also see that not being able to access medication in schools can be difficult for young people, and why in her experience they learn to support each other by sharing pain relief.

And you talked about painkillers and handing them out at school: could you get them in school, or was that something that you all did for each other because...?

Yeah, no, you couldn’t. I mean if you wanted to get them from the reception, or even take them at school while a teacher could see, I guess you... like they’d have to call your parents and sort of be like: “Hey, are they allowed to take this?” blah-blah-blah, which I kind of understand, just because you don’t really want kids taking a bunch of drugs. But it did sort of make it a bit more difficult if nobody had painkillers that day, so it’s sort of mixed, yeah.  But like honestly, even for painkillers, I think there, there was definitely a sense of you could go up to any girl and just ask for some, and chances were someone would have them.

Elsa tries to talk to teachers at the start of the lesson, to explain that she might need to leave because of her period bleeding. She has had to learn to speak about her periods because of this, and has found people supportive.

Well, actually, it was sort of because my classes are an hour long, so it was sort of knowing that at the end or the beginning of each lesson, like I would have to go to the toilet. So, it was like going into class sort of before the lesson started, because you don’t know how it’s going to end or if the teacher’s going to hold you back or anything. So, at the beginning of the lesson, just going to the teacher and being like: “Hey, I need to go to the toilet,” and sort of like usually they would let me go because I was a pretty quiet kid, like I didn’t cause a lot of trouble, but sort of on the odd occasion that they were like: “No, sit down,” I’d be like: “No, I need to go to... like, I have to go.” So that probably also helped with my... well, not wanting to sort of be ashamed, I guess, or like I’m happy to speak about my period because it’s like I have to,—

You’ve had to.

—so...

Have you ever had any kinda difficult responses, or has that mostly been OK?

I think it’s mostly been OK, actually, especially because the resistance that I do get is normally from male teachers, so as soon as you say, “I’m on my period,” they’re like: “Oh, sorry, sorry, sorry,” like, “go,” whatever, whatever.

OK.  OK.  And...

And, so... yeah.

—and you’ve learnt to be comfortable doing that?

Yeah.

Did it affect you, would you say in class, kinda holding all of that stuff to be aware of and to be thinking about?

It’s... I mean it’s sort of always for that week, or whatever, it’s always kind of nagging at the back of my mind, like: ‘oh, God, I really hope I don’t bleed on this chair,’ ’cause it has happened a couple of times and it’s just really awkward after class trying to like clean the seat. But yeah, it’s not... I mean I wouldn’t say it’s bad enough to be distracting from class. And again, it’s nowhere near like having cramps where it’s like I can’t physically concentrate or do anything. It’s just a bit like in the back of my mind, having... like, knowing that. I’ve just... I’m... I don’t know, I’m very aware of it now, so it’s not something that I... that’s difficult to keep on top of.

Elsa would be “devastated” if she started her period and didn’t have any products to hand, so she would always happily give pads or other products to anyone else who might need them.

You said that you have that constant kinda awareness that they might start and you’re always thinking about it, but... that... and so you’re always carrying things, but you also said “and also for other people”, can you tell me a little bit?

You know, just think it like, at school maybe if somebody’s started and they don’t happen to have any pads, it’s, you know, like if I was... if I’d started and I didn’t have anything, I’d be devastated. So, it’s like, even if I don’t know the person, like I would happily give them pads, or whatever.

And in your experience, was there a network of that happening at school that you kind of look after each other?

A little bit.

Yeah.

Yeah.  Like, girls that I hadn’t spoken to in ages would ask if I had pads. Girls that I didn’t speak to at all would ask if I had, like, painkillers for cramps and stuff, and it was sort of like: “Oh no, sorry, I don’t, but I know that this person probably does.”  So like it is nice that we all sort of try to look after each other.

Yeah. Would you... would it tend to be with people your own age or just... or did you feel like-

Honestly, I probably could have asked anyone, but in my ex... just from my school’s, people only rui... really tended to talk to people within their year group.

Elsa thinks that using words to avoid saying ‘period’ gives a sense that they are something that shouldn’t really be talked about

And do you have any kinda hunch of why that might be, or where the pressures might come from? From just from your observation, having noticed that difference?

Yeah.

’cause that’s really interesting.

Yeah, I think... I don’t know. It’s maybe... maybe because it’s seen as like a... well, it’s not talked about that openly in sort of wider society, or whatever, like unless people...  I... I…  And also, unless the conversation is about periods or menstruation, people don’t really tend to bring it up.

No.

Like it’s... I... I don’t see it in sort of casual conversation that much.  And then maybe also the whole thing of like, it’s like a women’s issue, so like... like sometimes it’s referred to like ‘lady things’, or whatever.  So, it’s sort of... so sort of this... maybe they get this idea that you’re not meant to talk about it to men and it’s sort of... Because sort of using euphemisms for it very much sort of makes it feel like it’s... it’s meant to be a secret, or something.

Yeah, I think that’s really true. So, what euphemisms do you come... I like ‘lady things’, that’s... I can’t believe that one’s still doing the rounds.  What other ones have you... what other ones have you come across?

I’ve heard some people refer to it as ‘shark week’, which... yeah, or sort of, ‘that time of the month,’ things like that, yeah.

And your sense is that those are still things that you kinda come across fairly... that people use to talk about it?

Kind of, yeah.

Not all the time, but... but they’re definitely still out there

Yeah, definitely.

Elsa says that she knew that prolonged bleeding was unusual and something to go to the doctor about, but was less sure about vomiting and passing out.

Do you have any sense how you might make sense of that and how you might work out whether something’s normal or not?

I’m honestly, I’m not really sure. It’s also for me, like personally, the two-week period is like I... like it’s kind of obvious because the main sort of when you’re taught about period is like it’s a week long, maybe a couple of days more, a couple of days less, but still, you know? So, it’s like, that’s definitely you should go to the doctor for that. But for other things like throwing up a bunch or like passing out and stuff, like whether that’s normal or not is sort of like I... I wouldn’t know, so... yeah. ’cause I think there might be a sort of inclination sometimes to just deal with it.

Elsa managed her initial GP interaction including asking for a blood test for anaemia entirely online. She was glad of this option, as she was ‘introverted’, but as time went on, she realised she would be glad to go in and see someone.

When you first went to the doctor and it was with the question of... of anaemia, can you remember... So, I think that... I think you said that was what kinda drove you to think you might go and get some advice: can you remember what you were hoping for? Were there things that you wanted to talk about or were there... can you remember if they gave you any options?

Not really. I don’t really remember it, but I... I think I would have just gone for a blood test. Like I don’t think I would have explicitly said, “I get heavy flows, what can you do?” Because what I would have had to do was book the test directly, and then they would have known it’s for anaemia, or whatever.  Also, I think I was maybe like 14 or 15, so I sort of would have been doing everything with my Mum, and she would have helped out a lot and sort of taken care of most of it, probably.

So, you didn’t go in and say, “I’m worried about my periods,” you went in and said, “I’m worried about anaemia.” And when you had the blood test and it confirmed anaemia, did they ask you about periods? Did anybody at that point?

No, it was all very like online, so I sort of... I booked the appointment on... I didn’t go in and speak to someone, I just booked the appointment online, went, got my test, and then they sort of like emailed or texted the results, I think.  And with like a prescription for iron and the acid.

OK. OK. So, it was all over kind of an online forum. Was this in Covid?

It... it was probably at the end of Covid, yeah.

Mm, OK. But... so you don’t remember anybody ever speaking to you or talking to you about it?

No.

I mean, is there any way, if you’d been given a choice, how might you have managed that first going... going to the doctor’s?

It probably sort of depends, like, mm, at the time, I probably would have preferred to do it online, but that’s just because I was sort of a lot more introverted; whereas now it’s like I wouldn’t mind going. Also, because sort of having done a lot of emailing and back and forth, it’s sometimes it’s nice to just talk to someone and not have all the, like, complication.

Yeah.

So, I think it’s good that there are options. I think it’s good to have sort of being able to do it online, maybe being able to call, or go in person, or text, or whatever, ’cause I know that for a lot of people, they would rather not book an appointment than just walk in or call, or whatever.

So they would rather just be able to go?

Yeah.