Emily

Brief Outline:

Emily is 14. She gets really painful cramps, and pain down her right leg with her period, along with chills and nausea and stomach upset, which can stop her sleeping well. She finds exercise can help with the cramps, but her leg pain can make this difficult to do. She uses paracetamol for the pain, and her school have a system so that people can get top up doses after midday for period pain, as well as products, which she appreciates, and sometimes supports her friends in accessing. She worries about knowing what level of pain is ok, or normal, and whether she should or could go to a doctor about her period pain, and so far she hasn’t been, but is thinking she might because of how difficult her pain and periods are. She reflects that periods can be an uncomfortable thing to talk about, and this can complicate decisions about going to see a doctor or nurse, and she would like them to ask young people calmly and kindly, and help them talk about it so that they can learn about options that might help.

Emily gets pain in her right thigh when she gets her period, which can make it difficult to do things like go for a run.

They... they tend to be on days one and two, the heaviest, so... and they tend to be quite painful. I get pains in my lower abdomen and I get it in the top of my right leg, but it... it’s not anywhere else. It’s always the top of my right leg, and it hurts quite a lot.

Mm, OK. And when you say ‘quite painful’, can you tell me like how... what would it impact on you? Does it have an impact on things that you might do differently, or things that you don’t do?

I tend to just want to sit at home all day because it can get to the point where I feel like I can’t move because it is like that excruciating.

Mm, I’m sorry to hear that.

No, it’s OK.

And so, have you had to miss school and things?

Once or twice.

Yeah. And are there other things that you’ve... like, so you’ve... sounds like you try and go to school?

Yeah, yeah, I do.

But if there were things like social things, or sport, or other things, would your... would your... would it impact on that for you?

No, I usually always do PE even if I’m on my period.

OK. So, do you miss any kinda social things because of it or do you sort of try and keep going?

I try and keep going where I can.

OK. And what does that... but what does that feel like when you’re... when you’re there kinda keeping going through it?

It almost feels better because I’ve... I’m taking my mind off it, which is good, which somehow psychologically makes it less painful, but most of the time it is... obviously, I can obviously still feel it, and it is quite painful, but I think it’s more painful if I’m sat alone at home.

Yeah. So, if it happened... like if it happened to happen on a weekend or... or a school holiday when you didn’t have things that you kinda had to go and do, would you still try and keep busy or is that... is that where you’ve kind of noticed that it feels different if you... if you still have to go and do things?

I do try to get my exercise in every day. Well, I do get my exercise in every day, whether I’m on my period or not. But if I was planning to go on a run, or something, I probably wouldn’t, because again, they tend to be in my... the upper part of my right thigh.

Yeah. And it’s always your right leg?

Always my right leg.

So that’s int... And does it hurt when you move the leg?

Yeah.

Emily feels bad about the impacts of her menstrual emotions on her mum.

I have really bad mood changes as well. My mood. Oh, my God, my mood changes are absolutely horrendous. I wish... Honestly, I feel... I feel quite bad for my mum because I’ve... I’ve just stopped actually, and last week I was sobbing to my mum, I was shouting at her and I just broke down into floods of tears

Yeah. And that’s... So was that something that you maybe made sense of through the app, or was that something that anybody had ever talked to you about when you were learning about what periods might be like?

Yeah, yeah, we do learn quite a lot about the hormonal side of it. But I think people have learnt to know, like if I’m quite grumpy, people are like: “Oh, are you on your period?” that sort of thing.

Emily uses a cycle tracker to log symptoms with her period cycle, including some symptoms she hadn’t known before could be linked to periods, which she found helpful.

I do have a cycle tracker and you can log your symptoms on that, and some of the symptoms are symptoms I didn’t know you could get, which is quite a good warning almost that: oh, if you’re bloated, or if... I’m trying to think of some of the other things, but it’s normal, it’s OK to have it around that sort of time.

Emily was shocked about how painful and bad her period pain was. She found it ‘worrying’ the first time she got the cramps and thinks there should be more awareness.

I don’t think... I don’t think pain is talked about enough.

Yeah.

It was quite a shock to me when it was that painful and that bad, but I... It’s almost, I forget how painful it is until I actually have cramps.

Mm.

It’s quite hard to describe something that you’re not experiencing, so it was quite a shock to me that they were that painful and that bad.

Yeah. So, would you have any thoughts on that and whether they’re...?

I think it should be discussed more because I think... Sorry, my brain’s gone completely frozen. And yeah, I think it’s... it’s quite important to prepare girls for the pain that they could... I know that I’ve got some friends who don’t have cramps at all, but very lucky, but it was... it was worrying when I had the... the... the cramps for the first time because they’re quite a different feeling because they’re low down and they’re sort of like an aching, throbbing pain.

Mm, mm.

Yeah, I think there needs to be more awareness about it.

Emily finds social media posts that give permission to rest when you have periods and period pain reassuring.

If you... or do you ever get kind of influencers or information on... on Instagram or TikTok about periods?

On Instagram, there is... there is quite a lot of stuff that’ll sometimes come up.  Hon... honestly, I probably spend a bit too much time on Instagram; I don’t remember half the things that are on there. But some of it is advice on how to deal with it.  Quite a lot of it is... it... like it’s... it reassures you that it is OK to have periods, but it is OK to have a day off, like if you’re not feeling right, and just sit down, yeah.

OK. So, is that something you found helpful?

Yeah. Sort of that reassurance that I don’t have to keep going, that I don’t have to do things, that it is more than OK than, to on a weekend, just have a... like a day off.

Emily’s parent, who works in a school first aid office, explained their system of being able to give young people a paracetamol tablet for period pain, if it was after 12 noon and they had permissions on the system.

Mum: So, we’re in... I work sometimes in First Aid, and as long as it’s after 12 o’clock and they haven’t had any other paracetamols, and we’ve got parental consent on the system, we can give out one paracetamol to... to anyone experiencing period pains. So that’s quite good. It also, it makes... makes sure that we’re not sending people home for period pains, because otherwise, you know, attendance can be affected on a... on a monthly basis because of it, so we try and help manage the symptoms at school so they’re not missing out on learning time.

Emily says she regularly carries period products and will happily share whatever people might need.

We tend to complain to each other quite a lot when... when we’ve got quite bad cramps, we’ll say to each other: “Oh, it really hurts.”  But within my friend group, like even if they didn’t want to go to the office, I’m usually... I’ve got like lots of stuff in my bag, and if they need anything, I’ll like quietly slip them something if they need it.

Mm, OK. Brilliant. So you... you can... you’re... you’re kinda supporting each other within that network?

Yeah, yeah. And if people are too afraid to go to the office and go and ask for things, I know that it happens. I definitely feel throughout my year group, for sure, people give each other things; it’s... it’s quite lovely, really

Emily finds talking about periods and period pain a bit uncomfortable, and is glad about the private way her school gives support.

Well, I’m quite open about quite a lot of things, but periods are something that... that I’m not embarrassed about, but I know can be uncomfortable to talk about, because it’s quite a personal thing. And like it... I don’t... sorry, I don’t know how to describe it: like it doesn’t... it almost feels like talking to somebody about it, like you’re announcing it to everyone, which is, I know that that isn’t how it is, but the school deal with it very privately, which is really good.

Brilliant. And do you... yeah, I mean I think... I think that’s a balance that’s quite tricky, isn’t it? Do... do you have any kind of thoughts on what aspects of it might be uncomfortable? And as you say, you’ve said it’s quite a personal thing.

Yeah. I guess it’s not wanting to make people aware about something that is to do with you and sort of maybe not their business.

Mm.

And some people in the younger years might be scared to like leak or flood. I know one of my friends unfortunately leaked and it went all over the chair and she was really, really embarrassed and upset about it, but she didn’t wanna tell anyone because of that embarrassment.

Yeah, that’s some... I think that’s an incredibly difficult thing, isn’t it?

Mm.

How... how did... can you remember how people did respond about her, around her and what... what kinda happened when that happened?

So, I feel quite bad for her ’cause she was in floods of tears, the poor thing, but she bumped into a teacher she knew and the teacher got it sorted for her.

Oh, brilliant. OK. And do you think that had an impact kinda on everyone around you, that... that worry?

Yeah, I think so, because it is quite a fear that... I don’t know why, that there is quite a lot of embarrassment around periods because it’s always sort of been that... sort of been a thing that’s very personal and very secret and sort of something that you won’t... wouldn’t really want to share with anybody else. So, I completely understand why people are scared of sit... like going up to somewhere, going up to people you might not necessarily know and saying, “Hey look, can I like have something to deal with it?”

Emily hasn’t yet been to a GP about her periods and period pain because she is worried about whether she could or should.

Have you ever been to see a doctor about your period pain?

No, I haven’t.

OK. Have you ever thought about it?

I have, yeah.

Can you tell me a little bit about kinda what you thought and how you kinda made... made those made your decisions?

I tend to think about stuff like just before I go to bed. I’ll sit there and be like... like, ‘is it normal for them to be this painful? Like, is it... is it OK that I’m feeling this bad? Do... like is that something I should be worried about, or is that something that is normal for everyone?’ Because, yeah, I’m not really sure.

OK. And, I mean, I think those are really tricky questions and really important questions.

Mm.

Was there a reason why you kinda decided maybe not to go to the doctor, or was it more not getting to it quite yet or...?

I just assured myself that everything was OK, that it is normal. I’m just... I’m not sure if I’m the only one. I’m not sure if it is something to be worried about. Because it... it can be quite extreme at times, if the pain that I’m feeling is common among other people, or that it is something that I should see a doctor about.

Mm. And do you have any thoughts on... on that for yourself or have you read about that at all?

I have thought about it. I have thought that it probably is a good idea; I’m not overly sure though.

Because?

Because I’m... I’m not sure if that’s... again, I’m not sure if I’m the only one that experiences it this bad, or if I’m overreacting, or if I’m just being dramatic.

Do you ever kinda compare your periods against your friends’ or it’s... it’s actually quite hard to do, I think?

Yeah. Sometimes my... I know one of my friends gets ex... like extremely heavy flows, and I thought that’s where the... the doubt comes in that’s like do I really need to do something about it because I know I’m not as heavy as other people, but it is quite hard to know the pain that other people are feeling because I think it’s the pain that I struggle with the most.