Willow

Brief Outline:

Willow is 10. She started her periods this year. They have been painful and heavy. They are unpredictable and not regular as yet, and can last for longer than a week. She felt very tired and dizzy, and went to the doctors about this and was treated for anaemia, which helped although the medicine did not taste good to her. She worries about swimming, including in lessons at school, and finds that exercise or running makes her feel worse. She thinks that sometimes primary schools aren’t very well set up for young people who have started their periods. She has noticed that they have quite an impact on her emotions, which is difficult. She had lessons to prepare her in school which she found helpful, but talking to her mum and reading books that her mum found for her has been really helpful (though she is not a fan of diagrams and prefers pictures). Interview clips read by an actor.

Willow had a “mental health day” off school because of the emotional impact of periods. She hadn’t been prepared for feeling so sad, but found learning about this from a book helpful (read by an actor).

And does it ever... when you... have you ever had to miss school ’cause of your periods?

No, I’ve never had periods that bad. They’ve made me feel quite sad. So maybe like once they made me have a mental health day, but I think, not really, overall, periods haven’t had... made me miss school, though I wish they did sometimes.

You said that the emotional part of it is really hard?

Yeah.

Can you tell us any... a little bit about that?

Well, I’m not sure. It just feels like you can’t control it, and then you look back on what happened and you feel really bad, and like it’s a bit... like you’re angry and you’re sensitive and you’re sad, like you’re sad one moment and then you’re angry, and then you’re happy, and it’s all random, and it seems really weird. Like I read about it and it says like “children... children or teenagers may experience this”, then there was a picture of someone saying, “I’m so happy,” and the next... and then it said “one minute later”, and that was the face, and then there was a picture of the same person saying, “I’m so grumpy,” and I didn’t really see what that meant and I was like: ‘oh yeah, that happens to me,’ and my emotions change all the time: I’m perfectly normal and then I actually felt it and it was so weird. Yeah, and I just—

And does that impact on you at school at all?

Not really, but I just feel like sad and that... and like sometimes I say, “I don’t wanna be sad,” I’m just there being sad… a very sad child.

And was that anything that anyone told you to expect?

No. No, except for like that one picture in the book.

Willow had her first school lesson about periods after she had started. She had already heard about periods from her mother, but thinks starting periods without feeling prepared would be really hard (read by an actor).

Can you remember... I mean you probably did this lesson kind of relatively recent... was it before your periods had started?

No.

Or was it after?

So—

The PSHE...

—the first one I talked about, that was before.

OK.

The second one was after; the whole class one was after.

The one that you had before you had your periods, can you remember what it kinda covered, what they talked about?

Yeah. It kinda covered like... so the teacher said that she... her best friend had gotten her period before her, and for some reason she wanted it. I was quite confused why anyone would want their period, and her other friend... but her friend of course didn’t want her period, and that’s the kinda thing she talked about. She talked about the things you can use. We didn’t get very far because both... because one of the teach... the boys’ teachers was running late and so we only got like half an hour, or 15 minutes: it was supposed to be a bit more... a bit over an hour.

OK, OK. But she talked a bit about her experiences?

Yes.

OK, so how did that... did that kinda—?

That might have been the thing that made me feel better and made me feel more comfortable about it.

OK. And when you then got your period, had you heard about periods before that lesson?

Yes, but my Mum hadn’t, and she thought she was dying.

Mum: Yeah.

I feel really bad for her.

Yeah, and it’s a really, really important point. And actually, I’ve still talk to... I’ve talked to young people doing this project who had never heard of periods before the lesson at school, so still —

Yeah, there was somebody in our class who hadn’t heard of periods, and if she... and I don’t know if she’d already started hers by then – she probably hadn’t – but I feel very bad for her if she got her period and had no idea what it was, I feel bad for anyone that happens to.

Willow had a good experience of going to see the school nurse for period pain. She had a rest and was given a heat pack and was able to go back to class when she felt better (read by an actor).

Yeah, I went to the nurse and they have this like special room where there’s like a bed with a duvet on and it’s got like a sink and some water if you wanna like splash your face in the mirror, and that’s great, and I... and I just lied down there for like, I don’t know, half an hour. I have no conception of time when I... when I’m dozing. And I think I slept a bit, and then I said I felt better, and... and I got a heat pack and then I went back to class.

Willow read about hiding your period before she had started with hers. This seemed a bit weird, until she started her periods and realised how “private” it made her feel (read by an actor).

The first thing that... about reading the book, ’cause I read it before I had my period, was that people hide it, like the... that that’s one of the first things I read, and it had like a load of things that people said when they didn’t wanna actually like say, “Oh, I had my period,” they’d say like “oh, it’s a visit from Aunty Flo” or “stuck in red traffic.”

Mm. What did you think about that?

I felt that was a bit weird at first, but now I understand it more.

OK. Because...?

Because now I understand how private you feel about it and like you don’t wanna tell everyone: “Oh, I have my period, there’s blood everywhere,” or something.

Willow went to the GP feeling exhausted. The GP connected this with her heavy long periods. She hadn’t wanted to talk about periods, but she knew it was important (read by an actor).

OK. So, did you go to the doctor to talk about your period?

Willow: Yeah.

OK. And can you tell me a bit about what you remember about that, what that was like?

Willow: Yeah. I didn’t feel like I wanted to talk about it that much, but I knew it was important, so I did. And the medicine tasted horrible, like fire.

Mum: The other thing I’d... just to sort of provide a bit of explanation: when we went to the GP, it... it... it wasn’t actually so much for the period, it was that [name] was exhausted-

Mm.

Willow: Yeah, so tired.

Mum: — and very tired. And al... also one of the things we mentioned is that she’s... she’s... she’s had a period for two weeks, so...

Willow: Mm, I’m not sure how we had actually figured it out.

Mum: Well, I mean I think it... as soon as I mentioned that to the GP, it was like there is a connection and that was the answer…

Yeah.

Mum: I... I don’t know, what do you think of the... the way the GP treated you and that I can then say what I thought, but what did you think about talking about it with your GP?

Willow: I think it was better than having a male doctor because it was like a female doctor that made me feel better.—

Mum: Oh, interesting, OK.

Willow: It was like the most OK bit about it.

Mum: Uh-huh.

Willow: Yeah.

Mum: Yeah.

Do... is there any other... that was the most OK bit about it?

Willow: Yeah. I just generally don’t like talking about my period most of the time, most of the time, like this is... I’m not sure.

Mum: Her GP was actually very good, like she’s very...—

Willow: Yeah, she’s a very good GP.

Mum: —she’s a good GP and having a good relationship with her, and seeing the same person each time I think really...

It really helps.

Willow: Yeah. Whereas with the dentist, it’s random, even though it has nothing to do with this.